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Friday Night Group – article in the Goderich Signal Star

April 22, 2014

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What is Meditation

August 17, 2011

I had to contact you after reading something you sent to a group of people. I know this person is your relation. But I don’t want to discuss her as she has been a help to me.

That’s good; I don’t want to discuss personalities, as it’s a waste of time and energy. How can I help?

That I’m not sure! Just your words really anger me. I felt so angry after I read them and yet when I asked my spouse about what you wrote they made an interesting remark.  Then we got into a major argument. My spouse also claims this is why they never attend things in the same spirit that I do and then I was called a gullible person, which only made thing go from bad to worse. I don’t see myself as a gullible person and I have an open mind. But what you wrote I hated you for and then I realized, as my spouse put it, why can’t I let this thing go?

So what was your answer?

I don’t know. I have tried to figure this out but I brought what you wrote and I would like you to read it, so I can get a better idea of what you meant.

I will read it if you like but I can tell you about it if you like. We are all caught in our own delusions thinking that when we are, they are not delusions.

I know. Please read it.

Okay.
Meditation is the ending of one’s daily disorder. It is choiceless and cannot be something that is practiced. Willful mindfulness is for people caught in the web of mind tricks, meeting their own self-centered activity. Any willful meditation is not meditation at all because any method to become aware or mindful is created by thought, or the process of thinking, in order to get out of the trap or limitation of ego or self.

Meditation is love in action and not an escape from one’s fast-paced life. To see how inattentive one is to their anger, hurt, jealously, or quest for power or insecurity as it moves is the beginning of meditation and the unfolding of the religious mind. Self can practice all kinds of traditions, rituals or disciplines but they are all movements of ego to get out of ego. How can the ego with all the problems it causes in relationship also be the thing that brings ego to its death so that real relationship is authentic?

Meditation is perceiving one’s lack of authenticity and the lies that self is and projects in all its multiple identifications. Ego-self can identify with the letters after one’s name, or the amount of money in the bank, or a vow of poverty. Ego is the making of meaning to justify the experiences one has chosen and is often giving itself mystical qualities because it can’t face its limitations and petty superficial existence.

Self cannot practice meditation. They do not belong on the same axis because love and hate are not related to each other and are not opposites. Meditation and love come from the same root. Self and practice, be it yoga or any method to become something spiritual, is like a dog wagging its own tail. To really feel love and compassion is to see one’s un-lovingness and violence to another. For a virtuous person can never recognize their own virtue, if they did it would be an egoism.

Meditation is not mindfulness. Meditation is a mind empty of all the identifications with the things thinking has invented. When a mind is serious and sets aside all its identifications and playing games to cover up its loneliness and endless chatter, it can go beyond itself. The going beyond is not something thought or self can touch. That is the truly religious spirit and it is not tied to any religion or method created by self.

Well, that is what I thought is would be! It is very questioning the way you read it however. Something is more offensive about it or something…

Can I say you find it radical?

Yes, that’s it.

Yet you want comfort, right? And it offers none.

Yes! Maybe. It doesn’t feel good.  But why do I feel so angry!

Are you angry or disturbed like you have been called out?

Well my spouse said the truth hurts, which really upset me.

Is that why you’re here?

No, it’s because I am a meditator and do it several times a week and now I feel like you have killed it for me.

Killed what?

I get a lot out of it I feel.

Great. Like what?

It makes me feel peaceful!

Did it help you with the fight with your spouse?

No, because I couldn’t get into it!

Yes, which means what?

That all I was thinking was about our fight and how I am not listened to and judged.

Yes! And is that not a judgment of your spouse?

Yes I guess it is!

Can I speak personally of a minute?

Sure!

I have practiced all kinds of meditation. I lived in a few ashrams and practiced yoga till I could tie myself in knots. I lived in California, got involved in all kinds of healing practices from Bach flower remedies, crystals and tarot cards, and even took a course to develop strengthening my mental and spiritual power so I could contact the dead and be a psychic. I went and ate the macrobiotic way until a good friend of mine told my something Jesus said: It is not what you put in your mouth that defiles you but what comes out.  And what I have learned is that I can deceive and be deceived when I want something. The mind is always acting out of its insecurity, trying to create realities to support its beliefs. All beliefs, whatever they are, are created by thought and thought is an ego-self-centered activity and has nothing whatsoever to do with anything spiritual.

I resent what you’re saying

Yes I know! Shoot the messenger, right!?

Maybe! But what if you’re wrong?

Wrong about what?

Spiritual practices!

You practice meditation right?

Yes and yoga too!

Yes and how has it helped your life?

It has made me a lot more peaceful and I appreciate more. I am thankful more.

Do you have many friends?

Yes lots.

As you age and they age, are they more peaceful and appreciative than you?

No, I would say some are, some aren’t.

The ones that are, do they practice yoga and meditation like you?

Some are and some aren’t I guess.

So the ones that don’t practice, how do you explain them being more peaceful and appreciative as you?

They found their thing to do!

You mean their method, right?

Yes, I see what you’re saying!

Now who picks the method? Or the help etcetera?

I guess the person seeking a method or help!

Right! So choose the help that suits us the most?

Okay. What’s wrong with that?

Nothing, but what is the purpose of the method you choose?

To make me a better person, more peaceful, more giving.

Yes, better than what you are now. You practice to become something better.

Yes, I don’t have a problem with that.

Of course you don’t, until someone comes around and say it is an illusion.

How do they know that?

Does your meditation bring an end to the conflict between you and your spouse?

No not right now!  The day before.
So with your spouse, your children, your in-laws, are you conflict free?

No!

And are you?

What I am or not has no bearing on your life! If I was or was not it won’t help you.

Why not?

Because your mind wants to find out if my way works and if it doesn’t you will say why should I listen to him? And if you think I am free of conflict you will try it and see if it works for you, which is still becoming something, right?

So what’s wrong with that!

Your ego-self is looking for a system, a method, which I can teach to you. Then you become attached to a system, which means pain.

I see what you’re saying and I just want to smash you. You’re a real ass!

Yes I am! I offer nothing. Any system, any willful meditation, rituals, and traditions, are all the invention of thought and therefore caught in time and bound by thought and are limited.

I feel so sad!

Yes we are! Filled with sorrow because we have filled our hearts with the things thinking has made. You see, everything is moving in the direction of people trying to practice something.  That practice is the movement of thinking trying to get out of thinking. We need to see that any movement out of thinking is still thinking trying to find another dimension. This movement must come to an end to be beyond thought, which is a truly religious mind.

I feel the truth of what you say and sitting here with you has some effect on me. Like some silence is speaking through you.

Okay, see how you’re doing it again! You want it to be about me, as if I am special or have some gift or some bullshit like that!

Well look what is happening! My emotions are all over the place. If I wasn’t sitting here with you this wouldn’t be happening.

Look, you are here and you have chosen to talk and you’re nice enough to listen. Your kindness is in spite of anything you have done. You have been willing to look at the illusion you are caught in.

Illusion? What illusions?

Can you see the truth of what is being said?

Yes I guess I can!

Can you see you want that to be about me?

Yes.

The fact is you decided to look into you owns delusion and illusions around meditation. Because of that you have set aside or emptied some of your content of your ego-self. The end of illusion is the function of meditation. Now can you in your daily life have discussion with people to see all of your illusions and delusions and face them and realize you can do nothing about them? This means not trying to change or judge them. Just watch them. In that watching is the true flowering of meditation. It is the highest form of art and most difficult to live into. It means seeing your selfishness with your spouse, your children, your job, your neighbor, everywhere, and end it.

It seems almost impossible!

Yes, but better than living in some illusion about myself and my fabricated gifts so I can impose my ignorance on others and make a living or ego life from them.

You’re too much! I want to thank you. I will read your blog!

Please remember how you feel right now!

I feel good. It was helpful I owe my spouse an apology.

You feel good because you questioned. That has nothing to do with me and all to do with you.

Yes I see that but you seem like an authority.
We only want and make authorities when we our confused.

That is a topic in itself.

Yes, some other time perhaps!

Yes thanks.

You’re welcome.

 

Coachbri


What is Meditation?

August 6, 2011

Meditation is the ending of one’s daily disorder. It is choiceless and cannot be something that is practiced. Willful mindfulness is for people caught in the web of mind tricks, meeting their own self-centered activity. Any willful meditation is not meditation at all because any method to become aware or mindful is created by thought, or the process of thinking, in order to get out of the trap or limitation of ego or self.

Meditation is love in action and not an escape from one’s fast-paced life. To see how inattentive one is to their anger, hurt, jealously, or quest for power or insecurity as it moves is the beginning of meditation and the unfolding of the religious mind. Self can practice all kinds of traditions, rituals or disciplines but they are all movements of ego to get out of ego. How can the ego with all the problems it causes in relationship also be the thing that brings ego to its death so that real relationship is authentic?

Meditation is perceiving one’s lack of authenticity and the lies that self is and projects in all its multiple identifications. Ego-self can identify with the letters after one’s name, or the amount of money in the bank, or a vow of poverty. Ego is the making of meaning to justify the experiences one has chosen and is often giving itself mystical qualities because it can’t face its limitations and petty superficial existence.

Self cannot practice meditation. They do not belong on the same axis because love and hate are not related to each other and are not opposites. Meditation and love come from the same root. Self and practice, be it yoga or any method to become something spiritual, is like a dog wagging its own tail. To really feel love and compassion is to see one’s un-lovingness and violence to another. For a virtuous person can never recognize their own virtue, if they did it would be an egoism.

Meditation is not mindfulness. Meditation is a mind empty of all the identifications with the things thinking has invented. When a mind is serious and sets aside all its identifications and playing games to cover up its loneliness and endless chatter, it can go beyond itself. The going beyond is not something thought or self can touch. That is the truly religious spirit and it is not tied to any religion or method created by self.

Coachbri


The Self and Its Sense of Superiority

June 21, 2011

Self, the ego, is a limited thing that gives quality to itself that it simply doesn’t possess. It is always wanting something in one moment and can in a few short moments want something completely the opposite. Self is always in contradiction and hides in a sense of superiority when it is found out for the lie and contradiction that it is. This sense of being superior is embedded in the fabric from which self is made, which is from experience, memory, and knowledge, which form a thought. Thought is always bound by time and anything that is put together by thought is time and therefore limited. This limiting process that thought is based on that self is nothing more than beliefs sustained by self’s identification with the very beliefs it has built, which is calls faith. Faith breeds a sense of superiority and in this process finds meaning and purpose, which has always lead to conflict and war. Be it the war in a marriage or with a child or against two countries, self-interest and a sense of being right is how ego/self keeps the damage going. Only where self is not love and beauty are. That process is seeing what self is and all the conflict it inflicts in oneself and another and ending it. That is the highest form of intelligence and the birth of compassion.

Coachbri


Life Coaching with Brian O’Reilly

February 24, 2009

Relationship is the most important process of our life; it is the source of all happiness.

In a world where we are educated to earn a livelihood, we have forgotten how to live and get along with the people in our life the way we want and need to. This is the source of all the personal psychological problems. We have been conditioned to think we are weak and the process of trying to become something is slowly eroding our intelligence. Therefore we think happiness comes in letters after your name or in what you own or the size of your bank account. We have been taught to hate, to discriminate, and think we are different than other creatures of the earth, and now we have cultivated a sense of entitlement. We have being conditioned to think we are the most important and entitled to anything we want without any ramifications.

The psyche of human beings is entangled with knowledge, creating a self that seeks to acquire outside points of reference like religions, political associations, educational credentials and culture. The self, which is a process of accumulation, from conditioning external to us, has given us the impression it is an internal movement. The importance placed on these external movements has formed people’s personal identity thus we are attached to them and the horrors they instill. We are educated to have beliefs, opinions, and ideals, which we ram down people’s throats in all situations where we don’t get along. This source of not getting along is the practice of the external control psychology or self, ego, that
1. reacts to information
2. blames situations and others when we are unhappy
3. evaluates others when we are the ones who are miserable,
4. imposes on others what we think is best for them, which is the knowledge that creates a self.

Remedy: In every situation, practice dying to external control and practice internal psychology.

1. See your attachment to external psychology, which is the self.

Your are not the car you drive, the house you own, the letters after your name, the position you hold in the firm, the size of your bank account, the clothes you wear and you are not your religious or non-religious beliefs. Your political associations do not define you, your behavior does. Thus the phrase: “Get over yourself!”.

2. Don’t buy into the idea that information makes your behave! You are always in control of everything you do. Even when you lose it, you have chosen your behavior.

3. The common denominator in all of your human misery and pain is what you are thinking and doing in the moment that it occurs, so change you.

4.Don’t be an expert in anyone else’s life, just your own. You only know what is best for you.

Coach Bri

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Staying With Ego Without Reaction

November 11, 2008

It was with me for several days. The walk in the cool damp air or watching a movie, or any distraction I tried could rescue me from my self. The I was front and center, feeling the mercy of my own condition. Self was strong and doing everything it could to keep itself alive. The mind was simply perceiving what the brain’s occupation is, was, and will always be – hiding from the fact of its mechanical limitation, imposed by its own self-centered thinking. One wanted something and the brain was driven to distraction and still is.

When the brain caught a hold of it’s own self-centered movement of trying to put meaning to the state one was in, fear of death arose. This too needs to be watched for fear is self, ego, meeting the illusion of its own making. The brain then began to demand pleasure and wanting another distraction again – sex, food, comparison, or some petty belief about itself.

Nothing in nature is ambitious, but thought is always trying to become something as a means to find some security. Everything must be held, and paid attention to. As the evening slowly dies I sit by the fire and listen to the soft music. Yes, just another distraction.

Coach bri


What will clean the mind?

September 23, 2008

It was a harvest evening. The large sun was setting on the lake and it gave off a rusty red glow. The large full moon could be seen in the distance, bright and powerful. There was clarity to this moon as its reflected rays came through an atmosphere cleaned by four days of intense rain. The play of light on the water and the green banks and clean foliage revealed a deep sense of beauty. The trees washed with rain to the trunk, with their green leaves and dark brown and grey branches, were showing their strength and gentleness that created their longevity.

What will clean the mind of all the garbage and debris of a thousand yesterdays? We never seem to set aside the self, the ego and all its attachments. The space around us is so polluted by our on desires and expectations that everything humankind touches is corrupted. The mind longs to be fresh, clean and without burden, yet thought poisons everything we do by thinking it is needed in relationships. Thinking is the common denominator of mankind. It creates the psychology of ‘I’ that reacts and takes things personally. It is the thing that, when miserable, blames others and knows how they should change. Thinking creates the self that knows what is best for other people, and how they should live according to their particular bias. Thinking is the power trip, the gossip, hurt, and fear. It is also the infliction of religion, and the imposing of belief, to the right or left. We become political to remove the challenge of relationship. All behavior created and sustained with thought prevents relationship. Without relationship all life is without inspiration and meaning. To remain inspired is to enter relationship without effort and without belief which kills vulnerability.

Love has its root in vulnerability.

Coach bri


A Cool Spring Morning

April 13, 2008

It was a cool spring morning, full of the anticipation of warmer weather. The earth was softening and the leeks were springing through the spoil. The black moist earth looked and smelled rich and great for growing. The soil seemed to shine and enjoy the intensity of the sun’s warmth. All the earth was waking up from a cold winter of snow and wind. The birds had not yet returned yet standing dignified in the full and expanding stream was a blue heron. It was still, silent and graceful and it had the patience of that old worn creek. It was there doing its thing, waiting for a small fish or insect to float by and with great precision and adequacy it picked its meal.

As one walked along the meadow, and enjoyed the smell and peace of nature, thought was found in no place. Only compassion from the earth and one’s being seemed to join together. It was not to be experienced because then it would come out of comparison. Joy seemed to be everywhere, beginning and ending at the same time. The large maple was a buzz of activity and sap flies were all around it. Off near a large rock one could see the warmth of the sun as it melted the snow. All around the rock on the north side icicles had formed. If you got close with the camera and looked through the lens it was as if you were looking at a mountain. The hanging icicles looked so cold and yet a small bug would see this place as a large mountain in a desolate ice field. Life always is full on, and yet very few people investigate what living is all about.

We seem to be consumed with what happens after death. How can we possibly understand death if we have not fully understood life? So most of our life is a movement of self-centeredness. We try to get as much pleasure as we can, never seeing that the demand for pleasure increases our pain and suffering and for most, suffering and escaping from it has become our main occupation.

We have a tremendous need to be entertained. When our entertainments are denied, we are angry and frightened.

For most of us, living is getting an education so that we can get a job and work, to buy the pleasure we think we want and need. Pleasure has never been the route to happiness. It has set up in us the source of contradiction within. One moment we want one thing and the next moment another. This movement is the self or ego in action. There is no end to self-centered action – only pleasure pain and the need to again fulfill one’s own self-centered activity that leads again to this feeling of being unsatisfied. And again we are off pursuing another desire. Living is a huge field to explore but for most we are only involved in a small little field. Our brains are dominated by thought and all the things thought has put together.

Thought is responsible for many great innovations, like technology, but thought will never be able to create a mountain or a flower. Nature is not the product of thought, it can only describe it. Life is one continuous movement from birth and the beginning of thinking and then death and the ending of thinking. Just because thought ends, that doesn’t mean life is over. Life is more than thought playing itself out, based on how it has conditioned and set patterns and grooves, which is the center of self. When the mind is free from all the movements of self, living and dying are of little consequence.

Coach bri