A Question About America

October 22, 2008

I have received a lot of questions lately – some deep, some not so deep. I am always amazed that people want to know what I am thinking especially around certain topics!

So here is a question I recently received. Please be advised that this is just what I see.

Brian, what do you think of what is happening is the U.S? The bailout, and all that?

Why do you want to know how I see it? Isn’t it more important to look and see what you think and feel about something?

True but I want to know what you think about all this.

Please tell me why?

You seem to see deeper into things I guess.

Well, please take this with a gain of salt sir most of it is opinion and therefore worthless!

It may not be!

First sir, in America a majority of the people are conditioned by religion, politics, being patriotic, and the need to conform. They don’t think for themselves. Most are extremist, pointing their fingers at the extremes of the east. Being so heavily conditioned (as we are also in this country), we are not really interested in change. We only want change that betters us economically. The debt of America is smoke and mirrors, the left hand bullying the right. The right hand tries to find away to get the bully back.

If we were really serious about change we would not be a part of any war, or the building up of armaments. Politicians are the children of the external control psychology that is destroying the world. Most will crawl into bed with anyone or one anything to get the vote. Is this not the way of politics? The crisis in America and in any country is in each individual conscience. It is here we have the tribalistic attitude that has created nationalism, the flag and all that is done in the name of it. This nationalism is at the root of war, poverty and the American way. In the same way, much of religion and the return to fundamentalism is a sign of deep confusion because it ends inquiry and confronting how petty and small our lives really are. Small minds criticize other, live in beliefs, and find security in religion and politics as a means to escape and be entertained. Take a look at the 700 billion dollar bailout, a trillion dollar war, and oil companies and other war profiteers making billions off the people they say they care about. They cut the soul out of their own people. Anyone who commits atrocities outside their own borders soon creates them within them. As you do on to others you do onto yourself. There are people in America that are awake and they have been silenced because they are not good entertainment. To get people to think for themselves you have to show them they are not themselves but what their nation wants them to be. But what their nation wants them to be does not create freedom! It is exile and tyranny. Freedom implies space! You can’t think if you think as a Christian, a Hindu, a Jew, an American, a Canadian, or an Iranian.

All of this clouds the brain and creates reaction. The word react means to “re-in-act”, to do something one has done before. This doing what we have done before is external psychology. To free the brain from it means to be clear so that you can embrace you enemy, which is one’s self and all its self-interest. This is what cripples America and all nations the world over.

Coach bri


Students At Risk

October 7, 2008

I recently spent the three days at one of the local high schools in my county dealing with at-risk students. I am always amazed at how these students respond to straight up communication and no games. One of the elements of dealing with students at risk is that they have a great bullshit monitor. As soon as they hear it, they know it!

I am often asked by teachers, “What are some of the things that I can do to continue what you’re doing in my class?” This is a very difficult question to answer because they’re not me and I’m not them. But what each teacher has to do is to remove all coercion from the classroom. The emphasis of the teacher must be on building a comfortable environment and a healthy relationship with the students. At-risk students are at risk students because of unmet needs in their life. The unmet needs that they have experienced (which most are unaware of) flow out of the poor relationships in their lives with their parents and other adults. If you come from a family where mom and dad who didn’t have good parenting skills (for those lucky enough to have a mom and dad), then this sets the ground for trouble.

Many at-risk youth that I deal with are disconnected from the thoughts, feelings and behaviors in their relationships. Often the behaviors they use as a defense are the same ones practiced by their parents because of their ineffective relationships with their children. You often hear these students say that they are picked on; this sense of being picked on comes from a perception that the world is a hostile place. Because of this sense of hostility, they are just trying to survive and therefore are not really accountable for their behavior. The second defense used by kids is often blame. Blame is used so that a person doesn’t have to be responsible for their actions. Another popular defense mechanism for youth at-risk is criticism. Criticizing as a behavior gives the person using the behavior a chance to feel that they have some power in that situation. Therefore many at-risk students use criticism as a way of hurting others to protect themselves. Really it is the idea that “I will get you before you get me”. Another defense is the defense of the victim. Here the student uses what he does as a tool of revenge to justify his behavior. Keeping it as a justification prevents the person from self-evaluating their destructive behavior. Another defense these at risk students use is denial. This behavior is very difficult to deal with because it doesn’t allow the teacher to process with the student their involvement in the present situation. This prevents the setting of limits needed to keep everybody safe. Another tactic used by at risk youth is withdrawal. Here the person totally shuts down and tunes out and uses their tuning out to avoid the chance of looking at behavioral change or choices within a situation.

These disconnected students practice these external control behaviors and are masters at it. As a matter of fact, they’re so good at it it takes enormous strength and courage to deal with these behaviors in a group setting. All of these behaviors set up by at risk student to engage the teacher in a power struggle. If this is accomplished, conflict will be produced as well as the confirmation that all adults are useless. Teachers need to understand that these troubled students are experts at what they do. By perpetuating disconnected relationships, both the teacher and the student do not have to self-evaluate and look at the choices they are making in the relationship together to get along. What really is happening in the situation of conflict is people have moved away from behaviors that meet their needs. Conflict quickly comes to an end when one person gives up the fight and puts the relationship ahead of the conflict. To become emotional in a situation with a student renders the teacher helpless because they soon become part of the problem.

External control psychology practiced by students in a classroom has four basic premises. The first premise is reacting to information and convincing them that they have no choice. The second premise is when things go wrong, blame others for the miserable way they feel in the learning environment. The third is trying to change the learning environment so that success or ineffectiveness is not tied to the choices that the student is making but rather how the environment isn’t changing for the student. The fourth premise is worked out in the classroom when the teacher tries to use coercion, to tell the student that the teacher knows what’s best for them. The student practices back this fourth premise by trying to convince the teacher that what they’re teaching is useless to them and, more importantly, not worth knowing. When any of these four premises are practiced in the classroom (and I believe many times they are), the environment becomes a battleground. Teachers spend most of their time trying to put out fires in relationships and less time teaching.

What I was discussing was violence at school and we discussed the latest shooting in Finland, I asked the class how they felt about it. One young man replied he thought the whole thing was hysterical. He was quickly challenged by his peers and criticized heavily for saying what he said. This disconnected youth was a master at setting up conflicts within the classroom as a means to satisfy his need for power. Not taking the information personally, I asked this student to describe to me what was hysterical about the situation. As soon as he had the floor he used the behavior of withdrawing to set up the next power struggle. When the youth saw that I was interested in what he thought because he thought it and wasn’t interested in criticizing him for what he thought, he had a difficulty dealing with the information. He didn’t know where to go from there. In that situation I rescued the student by saying that in this classroom you can think what you want to think and say what you want to say. I also stated that I’m interested in how you think and also how you feel and whenever you want to share, please feel free to do so.

As I said earlier, these at-risk youth are way better at disconnecting then we are at connecting and that’s what the problem is. My advice to any teacher is to always ind new and better ways to connect with the student. Remove all external psychology from the classroom and create an atmosphere to satisfy the needs. And show kindness and compassion in the most difficult times. At the same time, let the student know what you stand for as a person and what you’re willing to live with, what you’re going to ask them to do and what you will not ask them to do. This is setting limits and boundaries for students. Structure allows the student to find themselves in the classroom, as long as the relationship comes first and the structure second.

Coach bri


Struggling with my Ego – Response to your Questions

February 9, 2008

Since our get together, I feel like I’am struggling. With things like my ego. I believe I have a hard time letting go of my ego. It’s seems like I have been confusing ego for confidence. What I guess I need is help, help to see how to let go of my ego. (Rereading this short note I noticed how many times I typed “I”, just an obsevation)

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My Mental Game – Response to your Questions

January 29, 2008

Hello, my name is Diane and I enjoy kick boxing.

I love teaching it and competing. I love training and staying in shape. I enjoy the relationships I have at the club with the students and the parents. I eat healthy and I exercise healthy. I am always at competition level when it comes time to fight, my heart & lungs are strong and my power is great. My skills are there and I practice them often, in hopes that when I compete I will react more naturally instead of wasting time trying to think about what I should do. My Physical game is good, but my mental game is not, and I have tried several self talk methods that I use with the students, but for some reason I have a hard time performing because I’m nervous, or I seem to be in a state, when I compete, like it’s not as important as it really is. I feel like I’m in a day dream and I hate it! I am disappointed that I couldn’t effectively execute the skills I have to overcome my opponent the way I need to.

Need some guidence if you have some suggestions I would really appreciate them.:)

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She’s in Pain & Spoiling Our Kids – Response to your Questions

October 2, 2007

Brian,

If you can offer some advice on this problem I’m having that would be really appreciated.

So, theres this girl that I’ve been kinda seeing for the past few weeks, about a week ago she told me she is addicted to crystal meth. She says she wants to get off it and is trying to use less and less but if she doesn’t use she cant function at all and just lies in bed feeling like shit. Her theory is this, just use enough so she can do things like work etc and gradually get off it. I don’t think that will work. I can understand why she uses, she has a really troubled past with alot of abuse and other bad things happening to her, most of which is too painful for her to even talk about, so using is her way to block it all out and feel better even if only for a while. She is also on a bunch of prescribed medicine for depression, anxiety, and taking tranquilizers etc.

I want to help her but really don’t know what I can do. Whenever we are together, if we are having fun she is high and if she isn’t then she is just sleeping, or feeling really sick. Also since Ive been trying to help her by just being with her Ive been ignoring things I should be doing for myself which may sound a Little selfish but i feel like on one hand its too much for me to deal with but on the other I want to help her and cant just walk away, she doesn’t really have any friends or family that can help her.

If she doesn’t stop this will kill her.

Oh yea, when I was young my dad died from a drug overdose, that’s probably why this is really close to me.

Please help if you can.

Thankyou

Michael


Hi Brian.John Leinemann here, conrad’s brother. Last year when you saw Barb and I, you said “would not it not be a wonderful world if all the children were spoiled”. I was wondering if you could expand on that?Thanks, John.


Click Comments to read Coach Bri’s response.


Self Evaluation – Response to an Email

September 17, 2007

In your writing, which I enjoy, you talk about self evaluation. Can you please explain what you mean?
Roger.

Self-evaluation is one of the most difficult things to do. Very few people are interested in this and I thank you for your question.

First of all, in order to self-evaluate one must be free of all of one’s personal opinions and biases. You must be free of all prejudice. And that means you have got to face what you are attached to in the situation. Attachment is the root to all anxiety. Because we cling to things and people and ideas, for comfort and our own sense of meaning, we are slitting our own throats and will live on in a life that is petty, small and meaningless. What a tragic thing, at the end of one’s years, to see that all life’s suffering was self-inflicted and meaningless. It is meaningless because what I have attached my self to either dies or decomposes. Most of the anxiety we live with is caused because of our attachment to things and the fear of them being taken away or leaving us. Or perhaps we have attachment to ideas and we have anxiety because we find out that clinging to the right or the discovery of the wrong has no bearing on how we have lived our life.
In order to self-evaluate, there must be freedom from all the belief you have about a certain situation. Say you are angry. Can you self-evaluate that anger – which means to see the network of it from its inception to its death. This means without judgment or any condemnation. You can’t understand anything you are not close to. Being close does not mean agreeing or disagreeing – anybody can do that. Self-evaluation is getting close and seeing all your reactions without any judgment, seeing the action you are doing now and how that effects what happens within you and around you. Self-evaluation is looking at you, not the other. In order to do that, the mind has to be very quiet and watchful. It must turn in on itself and watch without fear or predetermination. Self-evaluation is the heart of love. Love never evaluates another – it only wants to see its own disorder and free itself from that.

Coach bri

 


About War – Response to an email

July 16, 2007

What you say is fine – end conflict in yourself and that is great. But if you were really serious about ending conflict, why wouldn’t Human Potential Plus concentrate on the Middle East or Africa, where they strap bombs on children and send them to kill people? They’re the sick bastards that need the help. Why the hell doesn’t someone do something about that?

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Ending Confusion

July 2, 2007

Brian why is the world such a confusing place to live in?

The world is a very confusing place because deeply inwardly we are very confused. We are always worried about something and quick to make things into some sort of drama in order to maintain and hold an image of a person or situation. This however basically is to suit are own self interest. We believe that the way we see things is correct and true, and we refused to see that doubt and questioning is the path to truth.

This is what we have been conditioned to do is look at live through the process of images. We have been educated to have a self image and the poison of psychology informed us we must have a good self image.

What is the point of having an image of yourself? Does is not condition the brain to be hurt and hurt is not one of the human problems that darkens all of our life. Most human being are afraid to be hurt this is where we comfort ourselves in beliefs and identify with ideologies. These identifications and ideologies are humankind’s burden. Are these not the things that are the center of conflict and war? Each group is attached to there ways of believing, attachment to there particular idea, view point, and opinion.

We are so confused inside because we have been trained to look through comparison, and perhaps there is a different way of looking. To look with out comparison is to have no image at all of anything but just to see things as there are. This is not about choice, for choice comes into things and is one of the causes of confusion. When we see something that is dangerous we do not compare at all we simply respond to the danger. If you were crossing the road as a car came around the corner and jumped out of the way or when you hear a loud noise you jump that is direct perception. To perceive directly is to see without any screens of prejudice. It puts you in direct relationship with the things around you and that means that one is sensitive. That sensitivity is the lack of thought moving in the brain at the point of perception. When taking in information and one is thinking comparing looking for counter arguments one is not in relationship with the person at all and is fueling either conflict or conviction for ones self centered point of view. When we are self absorbed we are deeply confused. In that confusion lays the horrors of what people do to each other in the name of love and peace. Love is not a self centered movement, it forms no image of believe system of any kind. Love has no need to defend it’s self or any image to protect of pass on. Where there is self image love is not. Love is not what thought says love is as the word tree is not the tree. We all don’t know what love is but we know what it is not. One can never say I love you for self and love is two totally different things. Yet where there is relationship one is able to feel loves benediction through action.

Coach bri


Positive/Negative Information

May 12, 2007

I recently completed the level 2 training and wanted to share an interpretation that I had about information and the quality world.

My interpretation was that we catagorize information as positive, negative or neutral based on how we perceive it’s potential to affect our quality world.

Information is positive if we think that it can help us to move closer to our quality world. Negative information is something that we perceive as being a threat to our quality world. Information is neutral if we believe that it can neither help nor hinder our ability to realize our quality world.

I’ve had many quality experiences since the training. One was having a conversation with my mother (who was also at the training with me) about a relationship in her life. It felt very real to me and in contrast to many other conversations we’ve had in recent years.

 Tristan


Article on Depression

April 28, 2007

Most of what this guy says in this article makes sense.
– Peter