priligy nz

 

The Happiness Trap

April 23, 2015

What is it that each human mind is looking for?

Humankind for centuries has gazed up at the stars has sought religion, politics, crystals, tea leaves,yoga, astrology etc…. Why? Since the dawn of time we have been trying to find out if there is something deep and lasting and true. Have we not been looking for something to assure us to equip us, with the feeling that we’re okay we’re safe. Most human beings are occupied was trying to find some type of security or gratification. Unfortunately for most of us pleasure and the avoidance of pain is at the root of our existence. We are all caught in a very miserable condition, the inability to have relationship! Therefore we are constantly caught in the cycle of unhappiness and then seeking a way out of unhappiness to only be caught in another psychological insecurity that lets us down and throws us back into our miserable state of confusion , insecurity and anxiety. Then for most of us dealing with the pain of relationship and in adequacy in ourselves return to drink ,drugs and entertainment. We spend so much time distracting our self by reading everybody else’s book or theory and refused to read our own book which is our behavior in relationship to others and material things. And then for most of us we get caught up in the biggest distraction of all the spiritual. Start creating false realities of supernatural existence because we do not want to face the lack of relationship and purposelessness of our own existence. When we face the pain relationship with other human beings and ourselves as well as our relationship to material things we feel a deep sense of superficiality an insufficient. Driven to the state by own lack of understanding we begin to seek God and or some refuge in some teacher, guru , therapist, or philosophy. We never really face the fact that the seeker and what he is seeking is in fact the problem and is the entity that needs to be understood. In order to move beyond ego-self, ego-self must be fully understood with all its chicanery images and expectations. What we do not realize is that this damaged was done in the early years and all the way through our lives.These were reinforced by the key relationships in our life as well as ourselves because most of us have been raised in an external psychological environment. Very few people are interested in their own transformation Unfortunately most of us are never given the opportunity to confront it until later on in life when we are totally distraught and let down by the people in life who are supposed to protect us and love us. Then when the breakdown happens we again look to them rather then examining our own mind and heart and see that very situation we were afraid of we have created. How disconnected you feel is an expression of how disconnected you are they are one in the same. For most human beings this is a shock because they do not see the damage of external control psychology in their life! Because the very parents and siblings you have were also crippled with external psychology. They to had little chance of surviving and freeing themselves from the misery of external psychology that was created by their parents and added to by themselves. Each one of us is doing life and is caught in the incoherencies of the psychology of external control. Raised in an alcoholic family as I have been and suffered through some sexual abuse those incoherence these go even deeper . When the ones you want love from or are supposed to give you love and care and support plus choose alcohol drugs etc it hurts! But the main thing that distorts your perception of who and what you are and who and what you’re looking for. These people who raised you are at the effect of own distortions caused by their pain of external control. You learn to create a world that rejects you and you constantly set up situations in your life the reinforce your not worth loving. What I hope I am conveying to you is that we have all experienced abuses one way or another but it amounts to the same thing. Everything thought creates within the field of consciousness which makes up your psychological self is the common denominator of everyone’s misery.
The miseries in our life keep coming back to us because of the significance we give to our thinking! The self who and what we is always the seeker of happiness. Happiness cannot be found in any direction self takes because it is a byproduct of loving connection! Love exists only when there is freedom from the thinking process itself. Seeing clearly your relationship to someone and something is based on the thinking process will always be a living hell. Relationship begins when one lets go of the thinking process and the totality of it, because in that process is anger, resentment, judgment,fear,insecurity hatred and violence. That very process is where we live our lives and then we get upset when that’s what we end up with! We are all caught in the matrix of our own confusion created by external psychology, no one can lead you out of this process it is your journey and very few people are interested in all this! Most human beings are chasing pleasure therefore increasing pain! That is also another story that self lives in. True happiness is not based on motive it is the result of a loving connection and the flowering of self-knowledge which is wisdom. Self-knowledge is not an accumulative process it happens in relationship and the ending of external psychology and all the pain it causes.
See you Friday night or Not!

brian


NHL and the changing of coaches why so much turnover?

April 20, 2015

Old-school coaching                                                                                                                                     ( please forgive my dyslexia)

NHL organizations are finding it difficult to find coaches that are able to connect with athletes and get the best out of them. There is lots of evidence pointing to the fact that long-term coaches, build more stable programs and success increases. However today more than any time in our history hockey has become an affluent game. NHL Players for example no longer have to work during the day and play at night! It’s no longer $100 to join the team, now parents are paying approximately 2000 to 20,000 a season depending on your level of play, that 20,000 is a conservative figure on some AAA stacked teams.
When you look at old-school coaching you get a direct and look at external psychology and today’s athletes no longer put up with it!

What is this external psychology? it’s basically humiliating athletes! It’s a sophisticated word for bullying. As a high-performance coach with over 200 professional athletes on my caseload you would not believe the stories I could tell you of how this external coaching impact players lives.

Old-school coaching has basically five premises that are forced upon athletes by the coach. Anytime these premises or conditions are forced on athletes the athlete disconnect from the coach as it kills the meaning and purpose to what they’re doing.
In the old-school coaching practice these basic habits of criticizing, screaming, humiliating, guilty, blaming, punishing, rewarding, just to name a few. An old school coaches believe that they can actually motivate people.

Most professional coaches do not receive any internal psychology training whatsoever, and as Larionov pointed out “the problem is more philosophical and starts way before players get to the NHL. It’s easier to destroy them to create.”

External psychology coaching is all about tearing the athlete down and then putting them back together while supposedly building character and is team building. You only have to read Theo Fleury’s book and see what coaches do that totally destroy the human being inside the player. This notion of external psychology breeds the environment of fear. Today’s players as in most workplaces will not perform in such environments.

Coaches today or having tremendous problems motivating athletes because motivating an athlete is impossible. If you can motivate someone that motivation is coming from the individual at a high cost. I’d love to ask some of these coaches if the wife is still complaining about certain behaviors they do and how many times they’ve talked to them about it but their husband the coach doesn’t change. Every time an player does something for a coach because they were bullied, they learn to dislike the coach a little bit more. This then leads to a broken,non-repairable relationship.

In the world of hockey today there are more external coaches then internal coaches which puts the game of hockey in jeopardy. It’s becoming far too expensive for owners to continually move coaches because players refused to play for that coach! Players underperform and then draft selections begin to look irresponsible.
Every time there is a coaching change the whole team has to go through the stages of storming, norming, and performing which takes time and is expenses because team play is relationship based.

This phenomena today is everywhere, employees no one no longer look for monetary gains to satisfy their needs they want something more from the workplace! Any idiot can buy skill, talent and a persons time but the player has to give you their work ethic, commitment and their creativity. Creating an environment based on internal psychology and the conditions for quality always gets the best out of people. You may not win the Stanley Cup every year but it least it puts you in contention.. Fans want to be entertained by skill, puck possession, creativity finesse, speed,intelligence that’s what sells the product of hockey. Hockey on a professional level is about selling tickets as hockey players are entertainers and compete for the entertainment dollar. If we’re going to compete for that entertainment dollar our product has got to be juicier, leaner, more creative and offer relationship at a higher quality than other sports.

The only way I know how to get athletes to perform at higher levels is to teach them internal psychology and the conditions for quality. This then puts them in a position with the acquired skills where they organically cultivate the relationship needed in order to be successfulThese relationships are internally driven and removing all external psychology Is paramount in building quality teams.

A majority of the coaches in the NHL are not the players that were the icons of skill and finesse and puck possession. To quote Larionov “Most coaches in the NHL weren’t offensive dynamos” From the article does the NHL crush the creativity of players by Greg Wyshynski cites three theories on why these coaches end up behind the bench.
One is nepotism the second temperament basically saying that these coaches are task Masters disciplinarians and screamers. The third theory he states that players like Kurt Mueller and Adam Oates make great assistant coaches and I believe is true. However Kurt Mueller and Adam Oates along with Wayne Gretzky could transfer their knowledge to the game if they learn internal psychology and began to practice it in their organizations. I disagree with Greg Wyshynski if any of our great finesse and creative players learn internal psychology they will become amazing coaches.
As a high-performance organization facilitator I have been coaching organizations teams for over 35 years I have seen remarkable change. People can change and by learning a new psychology which also needs to be taught to the wives and girlfriends of the players. These relationships are overlooked and their impact on the player performance Is paramount. We all know the saying happy wife happy life. The more players practice internal psychology with their wives and wives practice it with their husbands the quality of the hockey environment becomes more need  fulfilling.

Peter Senge in the book the fifth discipline tries to emphasize this by saying asking the question does your organization have a learning disability. The success in any team is based on that team’s ability to evaluate itself and adapt. Internal psychology teaches organizations from GM to coaches to players the map of change. I believe Wayne  was the greatest player ever, if he learned internal psychology he would be able to communicate his knowledge passion and understanding to the game and create dynasty.

Like Larionov said: It’s easier to destroy than create. That’s because you can see the steps to destruction better than the spark of creativity.

Coaching with internal psychology allows coaches and organizations to learn the conditions for quality. Quality is on the mind of most people in everything they do, they recognize it when they see it. If we want to compete with the entertainment dollar quality comes out of creativity.By learning internal psychology you can focus on the spark of creativity and learn how to tap into it! That will always sell a lot more of tickets!


What is happening to hockey in Canada?

January 20, 2014

What is happening to hockey in Canada? As you know, this has been a question that has been asked for decades. As a high-performance coach, I have worked with business teams, sports teams, executives, individual athletes, dancers, and actors from around the world in multiple sports and business venues. I think I have a fairly good understanding of what happens when we move away from a developmental mode and prioritize winning. The clear distinction between a developmental model and a winning model is that winning is about performance now, short term gains, nearsightedness and performance based with high pressure, and of course short learning time that creates huge gaps in learning.

A good developmental model on the other hand looks at long-term gains, farsightedness, low pressure, and greater learning time so that transitions within skills, knowledge, and execution can be accomplished.

 

What is wrong in hockey or any sport is always the psychology behind it. Every generation is part of the same old problem because the grass roots of the game are not found in the principles of coaching but founded on principles of “Win at any cost”. This winning at any cost is the result of parents’ self interest and greed. We sacrifice their children’s fun, learning, skills and development because of the money investment in their child, getting a scholarship, making team Canada, and, if you have son, the ultimate: making the NHL.

 

Having two sons in the NHL, both played junior hockey, both decided to skip university or college and it has been a good choice for them. However, as a high-performance coach it has been an interesting ride doing damage control with both my sons from the external control coaching that is rampant in hockey where winning at any cost becomes the premise for competing.

 

I have spent the last 35 years of my life as a high-performance coach traveling the world, dealing with coaches, athletes, and administration on how to have a more effective and competitive culture. In all the countries that I’ve worked in, I find that Australia seems to be light-years ahead in the area of sport training and ethics by fully committing to a developmental model for athlete performance.

 

One of the most respected and decorated coaches in Canada is a track coach Andy Higgins. What makes Andy so successful and what makes the athletes around him so successful is he puts the developmental model of the person ahead of the athlete. I don’t believe Andy practices any external psychology when he works with athletes. It is the psychology of external control that creates the downfall in any sport worldwide. Unfortunately hockey uses the axioms of external control and I’m just one of the people that helps pick up the pieces in an environment that is sometimes torturous to our young men. Every year I deal with 40 to 60 young men who end up in some situational crisis because of the coaching they have seen that is unbelievably detrimental to the athlete as a human being.

 

I have worked with many players in the NHL, AHL, OHL, AAA, AA, A…all the way down to E levels, helping them recover from the brutal coaches who use external psychology as their modus operandi. If you are a coach or a GM and are reading this article, it might be a good idea if you consider what’s being said because this is the psychology that is poisoning your operation at every level it’s practiced. And what is more difficult to understand is that there is a different psychology of internal control that people can learn but it takes longer to learn it but the benefits and payoffs are enormous and extremely cost-effective.

 

The consequence of external coaching results in an atmosphere of win at any cost. Therefore in that attitude it makes the parents, coach, athlete focus on outcomes rather than the process of constant improvement. The outcome of winning outweighs the process of developing

 

Brent Sutter, who has a keen eye from his perch as owner, general manager and coach of the Red Deer Rebels said “There’s too much focus on winning and losing at such a young age.” I agree with Mr. Sutter and I believe this statement to be true. However, that difficulty arises because of the psychology that is practiced in the grass roots of hockey in our schools, work places, homes, and all the way up to the NHL, is external psychology and boss management.  We fail to understand that our brains are conditioned to external psychology and it is part of our evolution that it exists and if human beings are going to take the next leap in our development, we have to change our psychology.

 

Teams in Europe who are developing their hockey programs will naturally catch up to Canada as all nations catch up to other nations in sports when they pour money into programs. Easily put, it gets harder and harder to win as other teams learn and improve. It is the same as the BlackBerry company, who once lead the market share, others catch up and it gets hard to be successful unless you do something different that your competition isn’t. It is the same as in the free-market: the competition gets better and better until you have to learn to do things differently and produce a better product.

 

Human society in North America is suffering with affluence. Where there is affluence, there is greed! Look what this greed has done to hockey! Because only the rich can play the sport, we have cut off a huge cross-section of young children who have always been the backbone of Canadian hockey. These kids, who have to grow up with tremendous adversity and triumph over so much, developed character traits that deal with pressure more effectively. So now the question becomes: how do you get the best out of kids that are spoiled and can’t handle adversity? Don’t get me wrong here – I think every child should be spoiled. Most of the kids that I see in my private practice for counseling aren’t spoiled, but they definitely have been raised in external psychology environments.

 

External control psychology is the psychology that destroys every family, marriage, sports team, and business team – anything to do with human relationship. One of the biggest signs of external psychology are its practices of blame or fault finding.

 

There are people, teams, and organizations that have taken that leap and very little external psychology is practiced. Organizations that practice external control kill creativity and leadership. My example of this is BlackBerry. I have been a BlackBerry user for years but you can see that they slowly fell behind because they couldn’t keep pace with innovation and creativity and leadership because they probably practice most of the habits of external control when coaching their people within their organization. External psychology is always at the root of every human endeavor that fails; you can’t have people be creative if they are in fear of losing their job, their sense of well-being, or their meaning or purpose for existence.

 

The TSN analyst Bob McKenzie noted on Sunday, “My theory is that it’s between the ears, Canada is fearful of losing.”

 

External Psychology is driven by 5 basic conditions that affect everything we do! If any of these conditions dominates your thinking you are an external control maniac, and eventually you will destroy the environment for yourself and others to be a successful team. These five conditions of external control are psychological habits in human behavior that are real weapons of destruction because they maintain our glorified self-interest and give us the feeling that we are right and know what is best for other people.

 

Condition 1. Human beings are conditioned to believe that you can motivate somebody my external means. This means that we are basically stimulus response machines. And we are not! Just because someone yells at me or mistreats me, I don’t have to mistreat them back. The counter condition of internal psychology is: I am not responsible for how other people treat me. I am only responsible for how I treat others.

 

Condition 2. External psychology believes that whenever I am upset or unsuccessful it is always someone else’s or something else’s fault. Human beings are blamers and we avoid responsibility for our part. The counter internal psychology condition we need to learn is that whenever something goes wrong or I am unsuccessful, I must look at what I am doing or how I’m thinking and change that and take full responsibility for my part in things. Unhappy ineffective people blame other people. Happy effective people self-evaluate!

 

Condition 3. External psychology teaches that whenever things go wrong or I am upset, not only is it other people’s fault but I go around wanting other people to change. The counter in internal psychology condition is whenever things go wrong and I’m upset I should change myself.

 

Condition 4. External psychology teaches that by the time I am a teenager I’m beginning to know what’s best for me. I start to individuate and become my own person and begin to choose my own friends, my own music, the people I want to hang with, and my sense of individuality. That isn’t the problem. The problem of external psychology in the fourth premise happens when I get this major insight that tells me not only do I want to know what’s best for me, I also know what’s best for other people. This is probably the most damaging premise of all because once you know what is best for other people and you shove it down their throat, they learn to dislike you more and more, thus you end up destroying the relationship with them. The internal psychology counter to this premise is learning that you only know what’s best for you and back off trying to think you know what’s best for other people – let them self-determine.

 

Condition 5. External psychology teaches that you are the house you live in, the car you drive, the amount of money in your bank account, the letters after your name, and your particular religious or political belief system. Internal psychology teaches that all you are is a human being. You have a right to be happy, a right to be here, a right to live the way you want to live but you are by no means more important than anyone else.

 

How these five conditions are practiced in your organization or on your team is self-evident. Below are the habits of external control where most people live their lives.

 

The most damaging of the habits is called criticism. Most people believe that there is such thing as constructive criticism. You have only to ask yourself the last time some person gave you some of their constructive criticism and you said, ‘Gee, thank you that was wonderful. Now I feel terrific and highly motivated.’ Criticism is a real fun killer because one of a human’s basic needs is to learn and criticism kills learning because criticism kills fun. Bobby Orr, in an interview with the CBC, commented about minor hockey not allowing kids to have fun. He indicated that coaches today put their own kids first, as their main interest. There’s a high-level of truth to that because of the conditioning of external control psychology.

 

The counterbalance to criticism is praise and catching people doing things right and giving them feedback after asking them if they want some feedback. Giving people feedback without asking their permission is disrespectful.

 

The next external control habit that people use in relationship is blaming. Human beings are blamers. We blame every time we are unable to really look and self-evaluate and be part of the solution instead of escaping the problem. Brent Sutter, making the comment that it’s got nothing to do with coaching, is again practicing external psychology. Coaching is definitely a huge part of the game.

 

The next external control habit is humiliation. People use humiliation to control other people. This is the essence of racism, sexism, and any sense of discrimination. The counterbalance to this habit is learning acceptance, it’s celebrating differences and allowing people to feel comfortable with what they value. In hockey, humiliation is used all over the place. Old-school coaching is about tearing individuals down and then so-called putting them back together. This philosophy is Neanderthal.

 

The next external control habit it is punishment. If punishment worked on criminals, institutions would be empty. Punishment deters cooperation, insight, and intelligence. You see this in the hockey world were coaches punish for losses using the old bag skate. Most old-school coaches find this militant mentality works because it satisfies their need for power and diminishes everyone else’s need for empowerment. Internal psychology teaches this: let the players determine where they have to improve and where the team has to improve and take full responsibility by generating practices that are fulfilling to the athletes, through discussions. Yes, believe it or not, the kids playing the game know more about the game than the coaches behind the bench. This is a hard reality for coaches the face. The coach’s job is to get the players on the team to buy into the game plan that he believes in, and using his best research of the teams they are playing, show the players he has the way to succeed.

 

The next external control habit is rewarding. Rewarding people to control them is the essence of how most people parent and coaches use to motivate. Rewards are often used within the business world and what ends up happening is people may like the rewards but dislike the rewarder. People or athletes get the feeling that the coach/manager is always dangling a carrot in front of the person’s face. The internal control habit is helping people identify one’s qualities to manage and creating environments that are need satisfying to build people’s sense of autonomy and skill. Learning or improving your skill set is its own reward.

 

The next external control habit is guilting. This again is often used as a means to gain control of people by getting them to do what you want them to do regardless of if they want to do it or not. Using guilt as a means to gaining what you want in a relationship will always cripple the relationship. The internal control habit is practicing self-evaluation through open, honest discussion that creates meaning and purposeful relationships and work processes to develop the skills, product, or situation analysis.

 

The next two external control habits go together – nagging and complaining. These external control habits destroy relationship but people often put up with them because they see the person as venting, which never corrects or changes the situation. People just tend to hide from people who are always venting or nagging. Nagging and complaining are just mental states that reveal a person’s lack of skill in coaching to address the immediate pressure in the situation.

 

 

If Canada wants to build a dynasty in hockey or if a team wants to become a dynasty at any level there are certain things that are a must.

 

  1. Train all people in understanding what external psychology is, how it plays out in the relationships with other people and the organization, and teach them a new psychology of internal control. This must be taught to every person within the organization. The people within the organization must commit to removing all external psychology language that shows up in boss management as a means to how they govern their organization.

 

  1. The organization must create a caring, safe, supportive environment that has the best interest of the people within the organization in mind. This means that the longevity and security of the people within the organization take the priority. You must rid the environment of fear and coercion. The easiest thing to do when teams are not performing is to fire the coach, or when the team is not performing trade players. This creates within the team the feeling of insecurity, and where there is insecurity and the survival need of people is threatened, you cannot create a dynasty.

 

  1. Meaningful, purposeful work has to become the forefront of every operation within in the organization. Accountability and improved performance have to being drawn out of the people within the organization in a way that builds relationship, support, and cooperation. The only way this can be achieved is by the people who are doing the managing practice internal psychology and remove all external psychology language and conditions from their daily practices.

 

 

  1. That open and honest discussion about quality and what quality looks like becomes the central theme within the organization. Nothing is acceptable but quality, whatever quality can be determined by at that time. This means that CEOs, GMs, coaches, and managers are responsible to create environments with players and employees to discover what quality looks like and how it is best achieved by constant improvement of the systems in place. Quality management is when coaches and managers all work to improve the system, never the employee or an athlete.

 

  1. Everything done within the organization always feels purposeful and helpful and good for everyone within the organization. There are very few teams that operate on all these five conditions but some teams do come close. In 2013 I did some work with the Detroit Redwings and I believe that the people running the organization understand internal psychology though they haven’t fully seen its necessity but it is behind the success of the organization.

 

The other difficulty with internal psychology is that it means that change has to happen from the top down. People have to really look and evaluate not only what they’re doing but how they do what they do and that brings about a revolution within the organization. People are terrified of change especially when they have to share power and responsibility with other people. The bottom line is that people don’t give their full effort unless they have power and responsibility in anything they do.

 

Let’s take a look at Wayne Gretzky, probably the most brilliant hockey mind that ever was. Wayne couldn’t coach because he doesn’t understand internal psychology. He really doesn’t understand how he pulls out of himself what he does and how he did because no one has ever shown him. If Wayne Gretzky understood more internal psychology and brought internal psychology to an organization, he would build a dynasty that would dominate the National Hockey League for decades. I would not say he would win the Stanley Cup every time but what he would do is put his team in a position where they could win the Stanley Cup and that’s what a good organization does, puts their team in contention. Internal control psychology clearly helps people and organization understand the factors within their control and also helps them to perceive the factors that are outside of their control and manage them respectfully. It would take approximately three years to turn an organization around completely and get them headed in the right direction practicing internal psychology. One of the most important facets of internal psychology is the realization that you can buy people time and skill but they have to give you their work ethic, passion, and creativity. Learning internal psychology coaches these three main ingredients out of athletes and employees but fear keeps most owners, GM’s, coaches, and managers in the dark ages.

 


Choose a Remarked Relationship

April 29, 2013


The Heart and Soul of Affairs

July 5, 2012

Affairs happen. They are a part of human behaviour. As painful as they are, they can be a catalyst for a better relationship and a deeper marriage. If we are at all serious about our lives, understanding is a prerequisite for a loving, intimate, and sexually charged marriage.

Most people have affairs because there is too much external psychology going on in the relationship. External psychology is about trying to control the other person by behaving in such a way using criticism, humiliation, guilt, bribes, fear, punishment, or any other of the controlling behaviors to get them under your control. When a person practices these behavior habits they are shooting themselves in the foot and eventually will kill any intimacy within the relationship. Intimacy is the key ingredient in any relationship. It is about being sensitive and respondent too another in a way that seeks understanding and quality for both people or things in relationship to each other.

Women tend to seek intimacy through the process of communication of feelings and emotions from and in a relationship. They then feel they are loved and belong with that person. Men tend to seek sex as a means to having that sense of loving and belonging. This difference between men and women leads to them choosing to be critical with each other, which in turn kills all passion between the couple. The problem then is compounded because a man’s need for sex is part of his survival need and he finds it easy to have sex without any intimacy at all. Men sexually are visual creatures, and that is why when a man has an orgasm, his eyes are open. He is hardwired for this and then within moment after his orgasm he slowly opens his eyes and heart to the being women is. With his eyes closed it is an internal experience – the release for him is seen as pressure removed and he can then relax and get more emotional. Women, on the other hand, orgasm with their eyes closed – a very internal process. Then as it descends her emotions release and come to the surface. Here the man and the women are two very different creatures yet make up one whole.

It is that wholeness through sex or other challenges that real intimacy between people, men and women, breaks out. Notice please that I used the word “breaks out” because you can’t fake intimacy!  Without it one feels a great sense of disconnection between you and your partner and then this leads to the practice of external psychology and the habits that cripple the relationship.

 

Coach bri


We Cannot Face the Way We Are

April 9, 2012

One of our deepest psychological problems is that we cannot face ourselves the way we are. We refuse to see how our consciousness is in such a deep disturbing mess. We all basically know that because we are aware of the contradictions that exist in us. We want to be fit and trim yet we overeat and don’t exercise, or we exercise like a fanatic and eat all the foods that maintain our insulin levels high and therefore we gain weight. We smoke, we drink and we want to stop smoking or stop drinking, or we see ourselves being angry, violent, hurtful, hateful, and we want to be the opposite of what we are.

Our consciousness is in great trouble. We are so deeply disturbed because we see ourselves as individuals and take refuge in being an individual, when really, if you look deeply at it, we’re not individuals at all. The formation of our psychology, mainly external control, has all been imposed from the outside. If you ask yourself who you are, you can examine for yourself — you are who you believe you are and all of your beliefs have been imposed first from the outside and then you modify them inwardly.

You’re sitting in a room right now listening to me talk but you see yourself as the center of the room and everything around you physically is imposed by the distance from you to get in you, as every brain in the room is doing. Every brain in this room suffers from exactly the same psychological problems that every other brain in the room is suffering from and we’re not talking about it, we cover it up. Why do we cover it up? What’s the point in keeping it covered up? Because in so doing you get to hang on to your individuality or, to put it better, the illusion of your individuality.

Can we look a little deeper at this? Are you willing to look or are you already terrified by me because I’m not offering you anything? Part of our external psychology conditioning is that we have to do something to get something and if we don’t get something from what we’re doing then what we’re doing is useless, and how many of us want to be useless? Every person in the room is afraid to be useless. For every person in the room, the prime occupation of your life is finding a sense of psychological security and the past thousand generations of human beings that has been their occupation. If I am born in Russia, America, or Canada, the operation of my brain is exactly the same as it is in any one of these areas in the world. I don’t know if you see this. Most of you are terrified to look anew.

Years ago tribes clubbed themselves to death because of their different beliefs with bones, sticks, stones, and arrows. Today we do exactly the same thing but the tribes are now countries and the interest of the tribe is now the interest of the nation; the tribe who was aggressive and bullied and conquered other tribes is today the nation bullying and conquering other nations to satisfy their self-interests. Yes, their self-interest and that is the poison of each one of us in this room today. We are looking out for our own self-interest and that is why we see ourselves as Canadians, Americans, Russians, Germans, Christians, Hindus, Muslims, or Jews. We have all bought into that sickness and that sickness is the antichrist.

I am not selling religion. I have no religious or political affiliations. Anything that brings about a division between you and another is a poison in your consciousness that feeds your belief system and you then identify who you are with your belief system and because of that belief system your whole psychology comes out of that. And that psychology is the psychology of external control and how that psychology was formed is the same for every brain in this world. Every brain in this room took information in through their senses. If I was born in Russia, United States, or New Zealand, I took information into my senses. That information was my experience and that experience formed my memory, which became my knowledge. From there I then again experience that knowledge as a collection of images created by the process of thinking. And that is what we have bought into – you really believe you are your thinking. You really believe that what thought says about you and about others is true. You have bought into that you are Muslim or Jewish or Christian. You have bought into that you are American, Canadian, or Russian but you are not. We are one people, one planet, and the brotherhood of mankind. All those religions, all those political differences, all of those divisions of nationality, and all of their traditions are the very poison in your consciousness that keeps you as a separate entity and me as a separate entity that leads to war, that leads to the practice of external psychology, that poisons and is destroying this world. Every brain in the room is practicing it. External psychology is the psychology of the ignorant, the psychology of corruption and unless each one of us investigates the external psychology conditioning we have and brings about an end to it, your world, my world, the world will never live in peace. We will never know love; we will never know what it means to be loved.

We think we are individuals because we identify who we are with the things of thinking and every brain in the room does it, so how can we be individuals? It’s like taking a whole bunch of glasses and filling them with different colored water and saying all of these glasses are unique. In all of these glasses the content is unique but the difference is so superficial or simply a different color. Do you know what gives something its color? What it reflects. Things are the color blue or yellow or green because that object absorbs all the other colors except the color and it gives it off. That is why something is its color. So by analogy you will have absorbed a tremendous amount of someone else’s knowledge that you got from the outside and you claim to be you.

The most learned people in the world, with all their PhD’s, being well read, are masters at accumulating knowledge and that knowledge is absolutely useless for a human being to reach his or her potential. If you have all the knowledge in the world and know nothing of love you are nothing more than a learned ignoramus and you will corrupt everything you touch. External psychology is practiced in many ways but you know that your self is the construction of this external psychology. This self, which is you, is full of psychological suffering. In every situation the dominant need of this self is to be secure psychologically and because each person that makes up a tribe or nation is doing it, it identifies with that tribe or nation and because of its identity is willing to see itself as different than another nation and then it’s willing to kill to protect what it is at any cost and divide and conquer. This basically means do things my way or else! And that’s how most of us live.

This self-consciousness has a primary belief that somewhere in it there’s this spiritual element, this higher self, this godly creature, and because it cannot solve one of its psychological problems, it creates the illusion that somewhere in it there is a spiritual being or somewhere outside of it there’s a spiritual being. All the religions have this because self does not want to take responsibility for how distorted and messed up it truly is so it has invented a supreme being and all kinds of illusions so that that self doesn’t have to come to an end. Self is terrified of its own death and that is another commonality in this room: we are terrified of death. So for individuals, how do we use how we individual we are when we suffer from the fear of death? This self, with its external psychology, when it is in a situation with another human being in a so-called relationship and is unhappy, it always says it’s the other person’s fault. It always tries to find fault when it’s unhappy with someone or something outside itself. I’m sure we’re all doing that in this room too, aren’t we?

If you’ve been listening to this conversation that I’m having with you and you are disturbed by anything that I’m saying you’re going to blame me for that disturbance. That’s what we do. We never, when disturbed, go inside and look and see the source of that disturbance is and are passionate about. Only then can we end that conflict between me and you because that means you have to be responsible. The self, as it is when it’s disturbed in relationship with other human beings, then says I’m disturbed or I’m bothered and I’d be less bothered if you would change. So when we feel bothered we’re all about blaming the other person and then we want them to change when we’re the ones that feel hurt or miserable.

It is another human conundrum that what happy people evaluate is other people while happy people self-evaluate. Another part of ourselves that supposedly is individual, but it’s going on in every single one of us, is in human relationship when we enter conflict, often the source of that conflict is the simple fact that self really believes it knows what’s best for other people. You can see this clearly when two people supposedly fall in love, get together, hook up whatever, and in that process they really think they begin to know what’s best for the other person and they inflict this belief on them. We even have a term for it in marriage – we say “the honeymoon’s over”. It’s a simple fact that as we go through our lives – as teenagers we start to want to listen to our own kind of music, wear the clothes we want to wear, hangout with who we want to hang out with. You basically know what’s best but then soon, into our young adulthood, we start knowing what’s best for other people and we impose it on the other and the relationship falls apart, the marriage falls apart, the relationship between the teacher and the students fall apart, just because of that condition.

Then what follows, which is probably the most destructive condition, is the psychology of identity – identifying yourself with the house you own, the money in your bank account, your religion, your girlfriend or boyfriend or husband or wife, the ring on your finger, the car you drive, or the computer you have, defining who you are with the things of the outside. In the same way, you don’t see you are the faith in religion you have because you’ve been conditioned that way, you got that from the outside and yes, it seems like an internal movement but it’s not an internal movement. It’s a movement from the outside in and because it’s from the outside in and everyone’s doing it, it’s bringing about a tremendous fragmentation within our lives that always ends up in conflict.

There we are, living in a small little corner in our brain, practicing the habits of external control. Whenever this entity we identify with and which forms ourselves doesn’t get its way, the first thing it does is usually criticize other people. Yes, we’re even told that there is such a thing as constructive criticism, a very sophisticated intellectual approach to the problem. When I ask people, “When’s the last time someone was giving you some of their constructive criticism and you said to him that that was really fantastic, thanks a lot, I feel really good about myself now and you really opened up my life for me, I’ve seen the light?” When the self doesn’t get its way and external psychology is practiced it often humiliates to control. Another habit that it does is guilt people. And still another habit of external control psychology is punishing people and believe me, if punishment worked our criminal institutions would be empty! And these institutions are composed of over ninety percent repeat offenders! A lot of very intelligent people have learned the art of rewarding to control people. We could call them bribes perhaps. I’ve seen many intellectual programs use the reward system and what happens is people like the rewards but end up hating the rewarder and eventually the rewards don’t work in the business world and they become out of control and the employees hate going to work because they feel the pressure of this carrot that’s being dangled in front of their face.

Our lives are full of external control psychology in our so-called relationships and you see how much how many people nag a person or complain. These external control habits also destroy the very structure of relationship. When we go little a deeper with this and we look at the present state of the world, we now have a new Nazism and that Nazism is the brainwashing that’s going on in our schools and our families. The source of this is the external control that’s being practiced is psychiatry with the use of psychotropic medication. If I have cancer and I go to England, Ireland, Scotland, America, or India they can do a physiological test and they will see that I have cancer. But if I am unsettled inside myself because inwardly this external psychology is being practiced on me, and in my relationships, and I don’t have any good, loving, caring relationships, so inwardly I can’t focus at school. Therefore I can’t get along with people because I’m too emotionally torn up and I have a mental illness the psychiatrists call ADHD. If I’m so disturbed inside emotionally and beat up from the pressures of external control, and I don’t trust the adults anymore in my life, and I don’t give them authority in my life out of my own intelligence because I know how whacked out they are, then I get labeled with oppositional disorder. When you look up the definition of oppositional disorder, it basically means somebody who doesn’t like to be told what to do. And if I’m sensitive by nature and hurt and wounded and can’t find the love and care that I need in the environments I’m in because of my sensitivity, my brain goes into a creative state where I will invent people and worlds and voices that I talk to because my life is a living hell and these people we call schizophrenics or bipolar, another made-up illness by pharmaceutical companies with psychiatrists that are the next Gestapo.

Being on the psychotropic medications takes away a person’s ability to feel and when you take away a human being’s ability to feel you take away their creativity and therefore you’re taking away their humanity. And now we are creating generations of human beings that have no sense of morals, no sense of psychological pain who are able to inflict pain on others without any sense of remorse. And the reason being is that these pharmaceutical chemicals are getting into our genes and doing a tremendous amount of damage.

You can easily see that you have a creative system when somebody like a friend of yours in a situation in which you are so utterly embarrassed because of what they said to you or did to you that you cannot think of a comeback. You’re like a deer in the headlights of a car and you don’t know which way to move, you’re completely blindsided and when the human brain has felt that type of challenge, eventually, when you’re walking home, or after you sleep on it, what comes to your mind is the perfect retort. That is your creative system, and these drug companies and psychiatrists are taking it away from you and we’re letting them.

External psychology sees itself as the center of the universe and by living in and through that psychology we never reach our potential as human beings because there is a different psychology and the world knows this. The difficulty is that everyone is trying to get to that internal psychology through the already existing external path thinking has created. This external psychology thinking is responsible for this external psychology and thinking thinks it can think its way out of it. That’s why the self is always looking for some type of experience, isn’t it? Some religious experience, some noble experience, some enlightening experience, because self is always after experience because experience is the only thing that self knows. It doesn’t see that the experiencer is in the experience — it doesn’t see that self is anger, self is theater, there’s no me separate from fear – I is fear, I is hurt. But I/self is always trying to bring about a division between what it actually is and what it feels, therefore it thinks it can think its way out of its problem, but it can’t. Thinking is a limited thing, put together in time. Please just think of this for a second. You learn the alphabet through time, you learn the sounds over time, and you learn letters and words over time. Everything that’s put in to you all— the religions are formed by words, which are all products of time past, present, future. It’s all thinking put together by time, itself is a product of time. That’s why self has difficulty with death because death is the unknown and self is the known and if our minds are not free of the known, we can never touch something deeper and richer, which is real intelligence, love, and compassion. Most of us have only bleeps of that in our life and then self moves in and says “I hope for more of those movements” and the very essence of hope is again hope to change self, which is again a product of time because hope is always the future.

I’m getting a signal that we’re almost out of time so I want to be able to wrap up this conversation. There is a movement deeper and richer than the movement of self and time in the brain. That movement cannot come about by practicing any method that thought has put together, be it yoga, meditation of the East or the West, Bach flower remedies, gems, psychoanalysis, all of these things that are systems, are all put together by thought. But what was put together by thought cannot lead you out of thought; it only strengthens thought.

I am not a Christian but I believe there are things in all the great religions, when you separate all the man-made garbage in them, which are pointing to truth. Religions are not a path to truth because there is no path to truth; there can’t be a path to a living thing because it’s always moving. Christ has made the statement that before time was I AM. I believe he was pointing to a movement outside the field of time, a completely different consciousness that is free of all experience. We cannot think ourselves to this consciousness but what we can do is end this self-consciousness, this external psychology that is crippling us and harms every relationship we practice it in. This may be of use to you or it may not be, I apologize for my ignorance!
Thank you.

Please, if you don’t mind, don’t clap. I haven’t come here to talk with you to entertain you. This is a serious matter and a deeply profound matter, something to wake up to the tragedy and ignorance of our lives. Very few people are interested and you’ll quickly make this into some entertainment because at any moment the wolf that is the to self will devour the lamb.

 

 

Coach Bri

 


“Di do”

March 7, 2012

She arrived early and walked quickly to the cabin. It was late afternoon and the sun was warm and hot on my face as it had been a mild winter and February felt more like April.  She fell into my arms as she arrived for her counseling. She started to cry.

Thanks for seeing me. I need to talk with you as no one else fuckin’ listens to me. I am lost and I want to know why people are so mean.

Can you tell me what happened that you feel this way?

The last time I was here we talked a lot about how we are conditioned to make problems for ourselves. I guess I thought when I left I didn’t see what you were saying until yesterday.

Okay. What happened?

My mother, as you know, is always shit-faced when I come home and I’m scared of her boyfriend as he’s always yelling at me for everything my mom does or doesn’t do so I have to be careful.  Yesterday I needed my mom to sign my report card.  When I gave it her she freaked out and starting yelling at me because I was late sixteen times this semester. Because of fucking her!! Can you believe this bullshit, I’m a fucking B+ student and she sees sixteen lates because I have to get her cleaned up or into bed before I leave to go to school!!

At this point the girl was barely able to talk. With deep sighs and weary sobs she lifted her hands to her face and tried once again to dry her tears and become tough. With fanatic sweeps of her hands across her eyes, she slowly pulled her self together and from somewhere this tough sad teenager hid her pain from the world.

With tears streaming down my face I said:

You know you don’t have to do that here!

In a tough voice older voice she replied:

Do what?

Get tough on me and hide the pain!

It’s what I have to do to get through this fucking shit hole bitch of a life I have.

Well, there are other ways!

Not in my life! I just want out of it all!

How out?

My house, my school, my boyfriend!

You’re not thinking of hurting yourself in any way?

No I can’t afford to.  I have a plan Bri – I told you that before!

Yes, I know but I have to ask.

Why?

Well I think you’re worth it! Gems like you don’t come along very often!

Some gem I am!

Hey don’t buy into their shit – it’s not yours!

Well it sure feels like it is. I don’t know how I’m going to get this year go to college and all that!

What’s all that?

My mom. Who will look after her when I’m gone?

I don’t know but if you don’t go, what do you think is going to happen to you?

I will end up dead or fucking joining her I guess. They say misery loves company!

Okay you’re right! But how do you feel being in her misery?

What do you mean!

You’re the child here. You never asked for this. It came to you and you didn’t have any choices about your mother drinking or the boyfriend she chose.

Yeah so what? Sucks to be me! Tough fucking luck!

Hey, I don’t mind you feeling sorry for yourself! I am amazed that you even go to school never mind the B plus average! I told you – you’re a gem!!

Sure don’t feel like one!

If you don’t go to university will you ever find out?

I guess not!

I know your life is the shits! You’re not responsible for your mother or her latest live-in.  You’re responsible beyond your years and there is some good in all this!

Like what?

Well, you can be married and raise children and be there for them!

Yes I can but I’ll never find the right guy for me! They’re all a bunch of dumb shits with their dick alcoholics.

Wow! You feel that!

Yes and that’s one of the reasons why I’m here. When all this shit happened I went to talk to my boyfriend and he got pissed because he wanted to get laid and I wasn’t in the mood because I so upset. So he decided to get shit-faced and here I am again dealing with another alco-fuckin-holic.

I see. Wow. Tough week!

Now you tell me – how am I going to deal with all this shit? Guys want – everybody wants – to fuckin’ party and they all think their lives are great. They talk about all the stupid ass things they do and who is the biggest asshole that night and all have a great fuckin’ laugh. Now where am I going to meet or even find a guy that doesn’t drink, demand sex, or not be stoned? They don’t exist! They never have and never will because of peer pressure. If you don’t they fuck you up by cutting you out, you’re a nothing.

Well you may be right! But I knew a few in my day and I know a few now and yes they stay the same – they are not included. I was one and I wasn’t and it was hard but it was worth it! Very worth it.

Yeah, why?

I’m sitting here and you’re a gem! And I love what I do because there are people like you in it.

So you get off on helping me?

Look, as I said, I’m amazed you even go to school and I mean that! You are one tough girl! What you do day in and day out most people couldn’t. So my bets are with you. So a guy is going to see you for what you are and you’re going to succeed in anything you do if you can just keep yourself safe and keep your nose to the grindstone. You said to me when you came in here today that you see how everything is made into a problem. Can you tell me how you see that?

My report card –my mom looked for the negative and flipped out!

Why do you think she did that?

She’s just a mess!

Don’t excuse her! What do you think she chose that late record?

Because maybe she knows it’s her fault I’m late!

Okay. So?

So she did some self-evaluation and she didn’t like it and she took it out on me!

Great! So what does that mean?

She created her own problem and it really has nothing to do with me!

Yes and even though that hurts, and it does, who decides what is best for your mother?

She does!

Who decides what is best for you!

I do!

Can you change mom?

No!

Who can you change?

Me!

So who made your mom’s problem her problem?

Me! Me!

And when you do what happens to you?

I get caught and pulled in to all their shit!

Yes and if you let anyone determine your future but you, what do you think is going to be the outcome of your life?

I will be hurt!

How will that feel?

Shit awful!

Yes! So what do you need to do?

Come here see you!

That’s fine but I meant something else!

I know – stay my course until I change the course.

Do you want to change it?

No I can’t leave. I’d feel too guilty!

Okay. So?

Stay focused in what I want and do the things I must to get me what I want.

And?

See you when I need support!

Okay you got it!

Thanks.

Hey one more thing?

Yeah what?

You’re a gem! The best!

You’re nuts but I love you. Thanks.

“Di do”

Bye

 

 

 

 

Coach Bri


Why All the Trouble?

February 18, 2012

He was old beyond his years, and his eyes rarely looked into mine. When they did he seemed somewhat repulsed by something in me, or what he thought in himself.

I don’t really know why I come here. I seem to last a bit after I have opened up to you and what you speak from seems to bring some inspiration or strength or maybe, as you say, insight. I want you to know that when I talk about you I always put you down. I talk bad about you and I dare not let anyone know that I see you, as I would be ashamed. Half of my thoughts are your thoughts except that I don’t live into them as you do. I really am only interested in my self, my own sense of peace. I want others to see me as a great man when I am only a tiny fish in an ocean of men that is unnoticed. My image of my self is all-important. Why don’t you stop me!! I hate the way you listen. It seems like the more I speak, the more foolish I am. Can you please say something about all this!

What do you want me to say?

I don’t know. Your listening cut into me and I feel as if you are the one making a fool of me!

Sir I am sorry but you are doing that all on your own! We are all fools sir, each one of us, but we think we are a little less foolish than some other guy!

How are you foolish then?

I have a conditioned mind looking for security. Because of that deep unconscious drive to be secure I have attached my self to my self. My images, my ideas, my knowledge, my dreams, my wife, my children, and the process goes on and on. Me me me!

Well I am that too.

Yes sir we all are that – being secure inwardly is more important than anything else. So our ego, which is our self, refuses to see that every part of it, from thought to thought, little or big, is caught in a state of complete disorder. This program called self is like a software program full of viruses. It is a program that has created itself and the viruses and it is always trying to write a program that will run and be perfectly secure.

Yes I see that!

Not being able to see that the program, self is corrupted, and it tries to bring order into itself by writing another program to fix itself. It has done this all through history.

How so?

Religion is one of these programs, yoga another, mindfulness practice, tarot cards, Zenga, Zen, crystals, dance, so called meditation, and so many other things.

I have never thought of it that way! So why do we do this?

Because in them we are looking for security!

What is wrong with that?

Nothing, but it can’t work.

Why not? Who are you to say?

Sir, how long has humankind had all these systems put together by the program called self?

Thousands of years I guess.

Yes, so what good are they?

We are slowly getting better!

Do you go to these religions sir?

Yes!

Are you getting better as you age and use these things?

Well no, I guess I don’t. I sure have tried a lot of them.

No sir sorry! What you mean to say is the program called your self, which is in pain suffering, anxiety, addicted to something, has tried to find the way out of all this madness. And what madness – attached to your wife, the pain of that, you bully he or she bullies you, conflict living up to each other’s images, the fight, the desire for sex, moodiness if you don’t get it. All of that, right sir?

Yeah, I get your point! But how do I stop it?

Sir, again, who is asking this question?

My self! I really want out!

Yes sir, you see you can’t. There is no way that the self that creates the problem can find a way out of the problem because it is the problem. Finding a way out of this misery to self is security and that is what all the religions and meditation groups are trying to do. They find a system or a method to get out of ego self. But every system and method is created by the ego self who is trying to be secure.

So what the hell am I supposed to do then?! I have insulted you, yelled at you, talked bad about you, no, hated you most of the time, and I really don’t want any one of my clients to come and see you yet I want to be like you. Why?

That is for you to answer sir, not me!

But the fact that I can tell you this and you don’t throw me out infuriates me.

Yes sir I know!

Why do you take my abuse?

I don’t sir; you are just speaking from your conditioned program, trying hard to get my program to respond to you. But your program is my program— we are not separate. The program likes to think it is an individual because it thinks there is some safety in that.

So we are not individuals then?!

We have different names, passports, cultures, but it is all one program, that thought has put together, just different ideas or thoughts but they’re all the creation of thinking.

So what do I do sir?! Tell me please! I see what you say and I feel I am in hell. I have addiction problems that I keep covered up! I fight with my wife, we have a happy marriage according to other people, but we treat each other badly and there is no deep connection, just occasional moments where we stop warring but we really don’t care about each other. I matter more to me that she will ever.

Yes sir we have no love, just empty words. Then something awakens us to the mess we are in inwardly. And that inward mess is why society is in such a mess! We then, out of our confusion, follow the same pattern as in technical thought and seek outside of our self for an authority.

God, right?

Yes sir God, the Holy Spirit, enlightenment, nirvana, self help books, etc

That is what we do!

Yes sir and now if you see all this and listen deeply to it, what happens?

I don’t know!

Yes sir you don’t and “I don’t know” means by removing all the falsity of thought, you are educating your mind to a different movement.

Well I want to experience that movement!

Sir you can only experience something that is part of thought. This other can’t be experienced and therefore can’t be corrupted. It is a movement not of time but free from time. All thought is the product of time!

This is so much for me!

Yes sir, that is why few people are interested in all of this. They would rather drink, drug, drink coffee, smoke etc.

When you bring in time, time is all I know.

It is all self knows and is! Therefore it is limited, caught in the web of time!

Thank you I must come again yet I know I will resent you later!

Find out sir it may be that the conditioning is so strong you hate yourself to keep the program going.

But I hate you!

Sir I don’t exist nor do you, it is only the program trying to hang on to itself. Just see it sir! Just see it.

 

Coach Bri


Coachbri Giving Workshop In Kelowna On Relationships

January 28, 2012
Creating the Relationships you need and want
humanpotentialplus+
Brian O’Reilly DSW,CT/RT
brianoreilly.ca
HPP Level 1 Workshop
3 Full Days
Date: February 17,18,19. 2012
Location: #314, 3001 Tutt St. Kelowna
Cost: $600
Includes: 3 lunches and 2 dinners
Early
Registrations!
Save $50
Online registration
Available!
Registration:
Limited registration, Save $50 off cost with full payments 2 weeks in advance.
Check website for further details. Call 647 401–7929 or Email: info@humanpotentialplus.com
You can also contact John Leinemann 250 808–5566.
Brian O’Reilly began coaching and giving seminars on human potential at the age of seventeen. For the past 30 years, he
has coached amateur, professional and Olympic athletes as well as business professionals and executives. Brian and his wife
Bonnie have worked with youth and their families for the past 15 years. They operate a parent model group home and
treatment foster program for several Children’s Aid Societies. Brian’s passion and understanding of human behaviour acts as a
catalyst in organizations and individuals, helping them reach new levels of effectiveness in their personal and business lives.
Relationship Renovations
At Human Potential Plus we believe that happiness
in life comes from the balance between relationships
at home and relationships at work. The ability to
understand relationships will provide you with the
power needed to get along with the people you want
to and need to in order to improve your life. Knowing
the habits that destroy them and choosing a different
course of action can breathe new life into relation-
ships, the cornerstone to happiness.
This course brings an understanding of the problems
in relationships that keep people from getting along.
The course develops pathways to effectiveness
through the understanding of basic needs and meet-
ing the pictures of quality we have about ourselves
as partners, parents, coworkers, friends, etc. Further-
more, the course encourages the removal of old
habits related to external psychology by replacing it
with internal psychology; a process we unknowingly
practice when our lives are working for us.
Day 1
– Understand the common problems that create disconnection in
our relationships.
– Understand what we do with information and learn how to use
this information to make effective choices.
– Understand motivation and our basic needs.
– Understand the process of choice and creating the possibility of
change.
– Learn how to negotiate your relationships and choosing
happiness.
Day 2
– Learn the art of relationship coaching.
– Learn how to create intimacy in your relationships.
– Learn how to connect with people who are disconnecting from
you.
Day 3
– Learn the art of mastery coaching vs. bossing and putting what
we have learned into practice

Coachbri Giving Workshop on Relationships In Kelowna

January 2, 2012
Creating the Relationships you need and want
humanpotentialplus+
Brian O’Reilly DSW,CT/RT
brianoreilly.ca
HPP Level 1 Workshop
3 Full Days
Date: February 17,18,19. 2012
Location: #314, 3001 Tutt St. Kelowna
Cost: $600
Includes: 3 lunches and 2 dinners
Early
Registrations!
Save $50
Online registration
Available!
Registration:
Limited registration, Save $50 off cost with full payments 2 weeks in advance.
Check website for further details. Call 647 401–7929 or Email: info@humanpotentialplus.com
You can also contact John Leinemann 250 808–5566.
Brian O’Reilly began coaching and giving seminars on human potential at the age of seventeen. For the past 30 years, he
has coached amateur, professional and Olympic athletes as well as business professionals and executives. Brian and his wife
Bonnie have worked with youth and their families for the past 15 years. They operate a parent model group home and
treatment foster program for several Children’s Aid Societies. Brian’s passion and understanding of human behaviour acts as a
catalyst in organizations and individuals, helping them reach new levels of effectiveness in their personal and business lives.
Relationship Renovations
At Human Potential Plus we believe that happiness
in life comes from the balance between relationships
at home and relationships at work. The ability to
understand relationships will provide you with the
power needed to get along with the people you want
to and need to in order to improve your life. Knowing
the habits that destroy them and choosing a different
course of action can breathe new life into relation-
ships, the cornerstone to happiness.
This course brings an understanding of the problems
in relationships that keep people from getting along.
The course develops pathways to effectiveness
through the understanding of basic needs and meet-
ing the pictures of quality we have about ourselves
as partners, parents, coworkers, friends, etc. Further-
more, the course encourages the removal of old
habits related to external psychology by replacing it
with internal psychology; a process we unknowingly
practice when our lives are working for us.
Day 1
– Understand the common problems that create disconnection in
our relationships.
– Understand what we do with information and learn how to use
this information to make effective choices.
– Understand motivation and our basic needs.
– Understand the process of choice and creating the possibility of
change.
– Learn how to negotiate your relationships and choosing
happiness.
Day 2
– Learn the art of relationship coaching.
– Learn how to create intimacy in your relationships.
– Learn how to connect with people who are disconnecting from
you.
Day 3
– Learn the art of mastery coaching vs. bossing and putting what
we have learned into practice