Creative awareness

March 31, 2020

It was a very quiet evening, sitting in the wing chair on the front porch, there seem to be a stillness in the earth. Every once in a while I would hear a creek in the old house and it would grab my attention. Then my mind would become again silent without any movement. When thought remains quiet, not through any practice of meditation or will creative awareness operates. Thinking whatever thoughts one thinks is a process of language created by experience, memory and is always limited. Creative awareness which is love, it is not a movement of thinking and is without limit. Thinking is always trying to find an answer, and the self is always active trying to keep itself in motion by constantly judging, comparing, analyzing as a means to understand. Understanding only breaks out in the brain if is quiet and perceiving the totality of the situation. Self with all its content, its images is always trying to put things in a way that fulfils its own prejudice. To be free of one’s own prejudice is one of the most difficult things to do especially in relationship. The ego self with all its problems is always trying to hide from the conflict that it has created and then denies it! Not being able to solve the problems in one’s daily living the disordered brain cascades into dreams. Dreaming is the brain trying to bring order into itself and if it can’t one is unable to sleep. If we have not understood our daily living and watch our inner ugliness and brutality or our self interest the source of our disorders is carried into our sleep. Rather than waking up rejuvenated one wakes up and feels exhausted. Analyzing dreams becomes another tomfoolery of the intellect! That intellect is just a more refined respectable version of the ego self. However clever it may be,it disguises the disorder that it causes through arrogance and feeling of superiority. It is the well educated, the experts who have taken humanity on its present course. However brilliant one may be that does not lead to wisdom! Wisdom is create awareness in motion without direction or motive. It is a movement that build and rebuilds connection without the effort of self interest. Knowledge is valuable in technological things that brings forth innovation, and all knowledge is rooted in the pass through the present and is useful when it is preceded by love and compassion. Without love, compassion and creative awareness our daily lives become a contradiction. As nightfall deepens the little porch takes on a chill. The body needing warmth becomes restless and soon thought rushes in and the chattering of thought starts up again!

Friday Night Group – article in the Goderich Signal Star

April 22, 2014


coachbri I am in a difficult place full of anxiety, I can’t seem to get my mind out of this negative thought process can you help?

January 27, 2014


When you see that your mind is fragmented and it is always looking for new angles and new things to think up, your mind will continue to be out-of-control. You yourself must take full responsibility for your own internal life. What is the difference to be preoccupied with one problem of sex or another problem of whether you love Your girlfriend or whether you want to your sport  or thinking you’re a turnup. The whole futility of existence is created by thinking, thought moving in any direction is pointless and self-centered but it is the only thing that thought knows to do. This is the prison in which you are caught. The only way out of the prison is to see that trying to get out of the prison is the problem. To understand that you are the maker of the prison in which you yourself are caught is awareness that awareness is the ending of the prison. Most people believe they are their thinking process they identify who they are with their thoughts. Obviously you are not your thinking process just because you think you are Wayne Gretzky that doesn’t make you Wayne Gretzky. Thinking is always cunning and clever.  If I told you to stop thinking about pink elephants right away the only thing you would be thinking about is pink elephants. Thinking has it’s place only in technological matters and solving technological problems. The fact that thought is always chattering shows us that we have no space inside ourselves to understand ourselves and  in a confused state. Thought has built the prison of it’s own making called the self. That self is the accumulation of experience memory and knowledge stored in the brain that is always active and moving. Whenever one pays full attention to the thinking process without trying to change thinking slows down and will stop. Please do not take my word for it, try it and sees what happens. In the observation of thought, thought stops! To listen profoundly to what thought is doing and at the same time be aware of what is happening outside of you is the beginning of meditation. That meditation is the actuality of being present to what is happening within and without. You cannot practice this because any practice of this is just an action of thought to keep itself active, and the root to all of our problems. The art of awareness is to constantly be attentive to the fact that you are not aware, so that every thought as it arises is seen for what it is it’s origin it’s flowering and conclusion. Only when is the brain quiet so that the mind can act. That mind is not a personal mind, that mine is universal uncontaminated by the thinking process available to everyone. Very few people are interested in all this because they have to give up all of their assumptions and beliefs to discover a single truth. That anything thought creates is disorderly when it is outside the field of technology.

Every generation blames the one before!

January 16, 2013

Internal psychology

If you are to ask yourself what is the difference in a person who is really happy and person who isn’t what would your answer be? How do we know that we are any happier or less happy than the generation before us? What is this thing called happiness? One fact is for sure that when you are happy you don’t sit around try to find reasons why you are! You are simply caught up in that state of being! To understand happiness and how elusive it is I think we have to turn away from it and begin to understand what is human misery. When are we most miserable in our lives? Well I’m a human being and when I’m most miserable or unhappy it’s because I cannot get along with people in my life the way I want to and need to. Those key people are my wife and children close friends. It seems however i am able to stay happier with my friends more so than with my wife and children, for some reason my friends are easier to get along with. Maybe this is because they don’t live with me and have to put up with all my faults. But there’s also something else going on. And I wonder if anyone notices!


When you look at a human being there are two movements going on. One is a movement that is brain-based and the other is a movement that is mind based. The source of human misery is linked to conflict in our lives. And I believe that this conflict in our life is directly related to the activity of our brain. When we are unhappy is because there is a conflict going on inside of us and we have harmed or someone else has harmed a relationship that we or they find very valuable. They harm that relationship by choosing to behave in such a way, that disconnects people from each other for all kinds of “reasons”. One of the most ridiculous things we do in our life and it happens everywhere is whenever there’s a crisis or something drastic or even something good happens to a person, we take this mystical approach that “things happen for a reason”. What the hell does that mean? Of course everything happens for reasons, known or unknown but that’s not the point. When we harm a human relationship it is because we are practicing the brain psychology of external control. This external controlled psychology is the downfall, the fallen state, the poison that is the source of our psychological pain. You and I have been so deeply conditioned by external psychology that we are unaware that we practice it, strengthen it, and it cripples us.


All the past generations have blamed the previous generation for all the mistakes they have made that are causing the present generation their problems. We do not see that 5000 years ago human beings psychologically suffered from the same problems that people today suffer with. The common denominator between  human beings 5000 year ago and human beings today is the way we suffer psychologically. If you look in your life you have the greatest difficulty getting along with the people in your life the way you want to and need to. When you’re able to do that you’re pretty happy, but when you’re not your life falls apart you lose all sense of meaning and purpose. This is the power of human relationship because we are gregarious creatures we want to hang around other people and celebrate life with them. We can’t seem to do this as a nation nor could we do it as a tribe. They were always tribes fighting other tribes like other  nations fighting other nations.  Each person regardless of which generation had a psyche that was ruled by fear, greed, inadequacy, loneliness, insecurity, jealousy, envy, and so many other emotional states. These emotional states are all the products of thought.  When thought is worried about the future it’s in a state of fear. That fear breeds greed that greed breeds insufficiency or inadequacy that feeds our psychological insecurity and then we become aggressive or depressed. If you become aggressive that leads to greater social problems. If you become depressed that leads to a different set of problems. Depression is the emotional state, where people will engage a depressed person to see if they can help. But the aggressive or violent emotional state disconnects people further, because all people are generally afraid of angry aggressive people. But what’s really important to remember is that all these emotional states are created by the process of thinking which is a movement in the brain. This brain has been conditioned by external control psychology and is thousands of years old. We are actually living with a very old brain that is dominated by thinking.




The other part of a human being is the process called mind! When we are in our right mind we are practicing a different psychology. This psychology is the psychology of relationship, intelligence, compassion, love. The difficulty is is you just can’t get into this psychology or into your right mind through any action of thinking. It takes a very different  approach to create the environment for mind to act. The brain with the use of thinking creates all kinds of illusions about oneself and everything around oneself. It is the master of illusion and the Eastern world calls it the ego mind, but it’s not part of mind. We have been conditioned from childhood to give thinking and that movement of the brain tremendous importance. Giving thinking the importance we do we have created identity with the thinking process and most people think they are their thoughts. But you are not your thoughts you are much deeper than your thoughts. I want to use a metaphor to bring this out. Your brain is nothing more than a bundle of memories, some connected and some not as connected. Imagine an ocean and the content of the ocean is the water and energy passing through the water creates waves. That is what your brain is like! The memory cells are a material process and energy passing through the content of memory cells creates thoughts. Most of us can steer our thoughts in many directions. But if you are unhappy because of a broken relationship or relationships your thoughts are in chaos and you can’t stop yourself from thinking in any direction. This doesn’t mean you have a mental disorder, like the pharmaceutical industry wants you to think! Because when you are happy and getting and giving the love you need from the people you need it from your thinking is not as hard on you.

So the question then becomes is there on an alternative! I believe there is but first we have to understand the state we are in or more important the prison that were in the prison of the brain. The important part of this is to break all allusions about oneself, and understand the process of what external psychology is an dismantlement through that understanding. This I will talk about in the next writing.



People Helping Other People in the Trenches of Their Life.

April 13, 2011


Training for Social Workers and Caregivers

Unhappy people evaluate others, happy people self-evaluate.

Human potential plus training workshops are designed to draw out the deep wisdom of the participants within the group.

Through this integrated learning style the participants within the workshop will improve on their level of effectiveness in the coaching and counseling process. All participants will be exposed to the internal psychology model and process of behaviour that will help them integrate past learned experiences with new knowledge in a variety of milieus.

This training unfolds the necessary requirements in a safe, supportive and challenging way that enables people to self-reflect, self-evaluate, communicate and share their insights with the group in a highly interactive experience. Drawing on the wisdom of the group and the process of feedback, participants learn new, effective ways to deal with difficult situations with clients, coworkers, and significant others. This is a life training striving to help people be more effective in satisfying their basic needs and helping others to satisfy theirs, leading towards a greater sense of fulfillment and happiness.

This two-day training addresses the following areas:

1. A new look at human behaviour

2. Connecting and disconnecting

3. The two psychologies of helping

4. Building environments for success

5. Caring through self-evaluation

6. The internal process of change

7. At the heart of addiction


Day 1

8:30  to 9:00      Welcome

9:00 to 10:30     How We Perceive

1030 to 10:45   Break

10:45  to 12:00  Invitation Verses Disconnection

12:00 to 1:00 Lunch

1:00 to 2:30   Building Environments for Success

2:30 to 2:45  Break

2:45  to 4:00 Working the Process

Day 2

8:30  to 9:00      Welcome

9:00 to 10:30      Recap 10:45   Break

10:45  to 12:00   Role Play

12:00 to 1:00 Lunch

1:00 to 2:30    Role Play

2:30  to 2:45  Break

2:45 to 4:00   Debrief

Love is a Radical State of Being

November 4, 2010

Howick-berries 20101023-00079It was a great warm day for October. The leaves performed a ballet in the gentle wind. The beauty of the colors in such high contrast took one out of oneself for some time. I felt the woods and how it spoke to me. The cords of my heart were strung so softly, reminding me of the beauty of death and the release of love.

Everything in nature reaches its potential. As they die the leaves change color and beautify the landscape.  Even the evergreens look more majestic intermixed with all the maples and oaks and shrubbery.  As the seasons change the intelligence of the earth is tireless and without any self-concern. It takes what we throw at it and will cleanse itself of all our abuses. This truly is love. Love is never about acquiring someone or something, it simply is.  It is never full of duty or expectation. It is an overused word and underplayed in action and will always be so when love is the result of the thinking process. One can’t think oneself to love and the jealous, the greedy, and the powerful can never know her.

Love is a radical state of being that cannot be found in anyone’s vision of will or practice. As a person seeks to practice mindfulness (the propaganda of the present day) it can never bring about the state of love. Mindfulness can bring about a more orderly society, which is much needed. But that state of mindfulness is but a shadow of the thing that is love and therefore mindfulness is limited.

Once the leaf is cut from the source, the tree, it falls to the ground and dries up.  One can’t come to love through any practice, for the entity that takes up the practice is the same entity that creates all the disorder in oneself and the world.  The death of the ego self is the only thing that brings about order, and that order is death itself. Only in death is there true transformation and renewal. That renewal is the leaf that falls to the forest floor without any drama or self-assertion. The leaves and their death are food for the next generation born out of decay and the ashes of time. Death is everywhere, in any moment we can not only die a physical death, but that is the natural state of things.

Howick-seeds 20101012-00055Psychological death is what is behind all the spiritual movements but they have tied themselves to the chain of rituals, traditions, and ceremonies in order to bring about a sense of security. Love is the living movement of wisdom and the glue of truth. That movement is venerable and completely insecure and never do the two ever meet. To sit in the forest and watch the life of it and see that I am the intruder, opens the mind to something beyond the petty little self the I is. Like the tree that drops its leaves in the fall, we need to drop all that self is, not looking for an outcome of something better. For the vain pursuit of self is always to become something more powerful, more aware, more loving, or more enlightened.

As one moves out of the stillness and benediction of the forest, self seeks to claw its way back up from the cavern of my brain.  Self’s job is to kill attention through being inattentive. A human being is the only thing on the planet that takes thought and gives it qualities that it doesn’t possess. When we are inattentive to thought all disorder begins and sustains itself. If each thought is cut from the source, thought loses all its importance and the brain is silent with itself because it is empty. That emptiness is a renewal and in the ashes of that death something new is and happy are those who find it.


Friday Night Group: If you’re looking for something to take with you when you leave, don’t bother coming

September 22, 2010

Friday Night Group has been going for about 15 years now. The group is formed by people who are interested going beyond the limitations of the self and thought. Most of them have seen through the conformity of beliefs, personal and religious. We question and purpose of illusions that the mind is caught in, and is creating, that make our minds petty and small.

Most of humanity is caught in the illusion that we are separate beings, doing separate actions, living separate lives. We are afraid to see that we are all one consciousness. Yes, one big thinking machine. We all employ thought to set up and determine our reality regardless of what it is. Thought on its level is the thing that has created what we are, how we see ourselves. Thought gives itself all these amazing qualities, one being that it is eternal.

Thought can’t handle that it is a process of memory, gathered and modified and is a movement from the past, through the present to the future. Thought want to be timeless and knows that it is not but can’t handle the truth of it. So what does it do? It attaches to anything that has any sense of nominal presence. So it created the entity called self. Self is at the center of all our problems and it reinforces itself by creating solutions.  The only problem with that is that whatever solution it makes, it causes other problems because it sees itself separate from the problem that the self has created.  Take for example fear. Fear is self thinking about the future and trying hard to get guarantees of its future. By doing this it keeps chasing its own tail and giving itself the feeling it is has a life that is permanent.

Friday Night Group is about the dismantling of self and all realities created by thought. It is the action not based in time. Every night is a challenge to let go of all one’s preconceptions. Yes, empty the mind of all the things self takes refuge in! This is real meditation and the whole universe is involved in it.  Humankind is the only species that is outside this movement of meditation.  Self’s reaction to this is to go and sit and meditate, to connect because it perceives its own disconnection.  You can’t ever connect to the universe because you are already connected. Self is the disconnection to the universe so any willful practice to connect is self again trying to fix the problem – it is self-created. We are on a journey and questions must be asked and held. To arrive is to fix the mind again in an illusion of its own making.

Coach Bri

Meditation and the Friday Night Group

March 5, 2010

The day was bright and full of promise. One could feel the warmth of the spring sun on one’s face. Climbing on the maple trees were small sap flies – a sure sign of warmer weather. The flies seemed to stay close to the tree but every so often they would spring to life and hover around the dark creviced bark. The little bugs were more active in the sun. They seemed to delight in its energy and then they landed again and remained perfectly still.

All of nature seems to operate as movement and rest. The whole universe is in a state of meditation. Meditation is deep, radical, and therefore profound. Any time the human mind makes contact with the movement deeper than itself there is instant order. That order is a true internal movement. Very few human beings are interested in the movement that offers no reward or significance to their self-centered egos.

At Friday night group, we all come with a tremendous amount of baggage, of opinions, ideas, and self-centered projections. The significance of Friday night group is established when people are willing to let go of their point of view and find the necessity to empty all of one’s preconceived notions and ideas to enter a state of dialogue. The dialogue is in itself free from all personal intentions and is a simple movement of discovering an action that can free the mind from having the thinking process as the dominant function of the brain.

In order for this process to be discovered, one must first address all the external psychology dominating their brain, which is the source of all conflict. When the brain is caught in any contradiction, trying to become something that it isn’t, or trying to achieve a self-projected result, it is a source of disorder and human misery. The intent of Friday night group is to give people a chance to think together, which means the ability to address our human disorder in the personal realm that is responsible for global disorder.

Human beings do not want to see that the soul they have is the creation of external psychology. This means any imposed morals from the outside are not moral. The immoral is a movement from the outside, rules or laws imposed to keep us on a moral path. Why can’t we face the fact that we are immoral? Yet we cannot choose who we love; we can only choose the behavior we use to express that love. It follows then that we can only choose the behavior to also express hatred, prejudice, fear, anger, anxiety, agreed etc. Very few people are really interested and see the significance that one’s daily problems are the problems of the world.

I am sure you have heard that saying, “To be in this world but not of this world”. I understand this to mean that even though one thinks, the thinking process is used by something much deeper in the human mind. Therefore thought or the thinking process is a functional process dealing specifically with material in the physical world. Thinking is made out of material processes in the brain. Any process, however grand or so-called sacred, is just an expression of external psychology. The art of dialogue is a group of people, two or more, willing to set aside everything they know and look at things for the first time. This process of emptying is to live in the present and no guru, book, tradition, or ritual can bring about a state of mind that
is internal, orderly, and not practiced. If one sees the disorder that they are caught in completely, the perception of that disorder is the action that is internal psychology. Happy are those who find this.

The shadows from the trees on the snow grow longer as the afternoon deepens; a few squirrels have come down from the tree to check me out. Their inquisitiveness and their hunt for food is impressive – they seem to move in an attentive state. That level of attention keeps them alive and in a relationship with their environment. If only humans could apply that same attentiveness to the doings of thought! Then we too would be in a state of meditation where psychological problems are not. Friday night group is a place where psychological problems end. In that ending there is a new beginning to bathe in that emptiness is to understand the significance of nothingness. In the universe nothingness is holding everything together.

Coach Bri

A Question

February 23, 2010

I was thinking about what you have said at Friday night group, and I had a flash of what I think may be that order you were talking about. What I saw was that I have been raised in a so-called religious home. But when I think of all the external control applied by my parents I feel that the level of criticism that I received and now practice on my family is what you say is my disorder. I think I see this. My son acts out of his disorder and I add to it. Do I have this correct?

What is the disorder you practice on your son?

Well, it is the same as I practiced on my husband! That anger and frustration!

Yes but are you not the anger and frustration, which is the fact of your disorder?

Yes, so what do I do now? Practice internal psychology, right?

So what do you do in your anger and frustration?

As you have said a thousand times, I choose a behavior that kills the relationships so I am caught in the thinking mode and I have to act it out on someone.

Can you see that choosing a predisposed position is one action that again reinforces the thinking process and external psychology?

I don’t follow that! Do you mean that practicing an internal psychology is also part of disorder?

No, I don’t think you can willfully practice an internal psychology.

I don’t understand. Can you make it clearer?

One must come to terms with something!

And that something is?

Your brain, my brain, is caught in a web called consciousness. It is made up of a self and every person has a self. Self is a product of memory, which is caught in time because self is a product of experience.

Ok I get that! Self is a group of experiences that I gather in the brain as memory. But I have a sense that I have aged and am wiser now than I was 10 years ago!

Yes but you’re not!

How do you know that?

You just have more knowledge about your self but you are still caught in your animal instincts and sustain them by using thought.

Okay I am more sustaining now than I was when I was 20.

Yes, true, but that is proof your not wiser!

I don’t get this then!!

Yes I know! Look at it! Or don’t look – the choice is yours.

No I want to look at it! It is just you piss me off so much.

Yes I know!

See! So you’re doing it on purpose!

No! You are angry now with me, right? Or your son or husband right?

Yes! Yes!

Who is it that is angry?

My self at your self!

So is your self different from your anger?

Yes, there is anger then there is me, my self acting out the anger!

What if you is anger!

Me is anger? I don’t get that.

You see, external control psychology has built the self out of memory. Self is a bundle of memory stored in the brain called self.

Okay, I see that and I guess it sounds right!

This sense of self is formed from the outside!
If I asked you, who you are, you would say what?

That I am me!

And who is you!

I would say I am a Canadian, a mother, a wife!

Yes and where did you learn that?

I guess from my parents!

Yes, but partly from your environment or society.


And that is external from you!

What do you mean by that, “external from you”?

Well, you were conditioned to think you are Canadian.

I am a Canadian!

Yes, when you accept who you are governed by the external thinking. If you were born in the same place 500 years ago, would you still be a Canadian?

Of course I would!

Canada didn’t exist as Canada 500 years ago. The land did but not the conditioning called Canada.

Yes, I see what you’re driving at! How about my beliefs?

They are all put in you then you modify them to suit your experience.

Yes, but I have a belief about the universal energy and reincarnation! That is real!

Real yes, but untrue.

What do you mean? It is true to me. I live by it!

Yes each person lives according to his own belief! But why? Why is believing so important to us? To you or any human being?

Because it gives life meaning?

Okay, how? It only gives you a sense of false security!

Look I believe what I believe and I have the … damn…

Right to! And that right gives one a sense of security, no?

And what is wrong with feeling secure?

Well isn’t the demand for security a sign of insecurity!

Okay I think I see that?

Think you see that? Isn’t every problem you have with your husband and son you looking for security and if they only did what you said, lived how you want them to, there would be no conflict?

Yes okay, I see it! I see it! I get it!

What is it you get?

When I have problems with them we are in conflict and I see I’m the source of that conflict. I get that when my belief is there for them my self is there. The feeling of anger and frustration is the self, which is me in action.

Yes, now what can you do about that?

I don’t know? My life is this!

Yes it is! Now can I see that trying to change in any way is to avoid my inner ugliness and the fact that me, anger, frustration is all one clump of self or ego. So if I try to do anything to self, to change, is the wrong approach. This is self judging self, trying to get out of self, which strengthens self!

You know I think I do that! Strange as it is! That is my life.

Okay, so see the fact and remain with the fact that the self-centered movement is one movement. Fear is self, hurt is self etc. You can’t do anything about it. If you do you are creating more conflict. If you are willing to end all conflict, self and its beliefs no longer fuel external psychology and one comes upon a deep movement not the product of the self. That movement brings order and that order is a new beginning.

I have lots to think about! Thank you!!!

You’re welcome.

Coach bri

A Question about Awareness

November 29, 2009

At one of your talks you said that awareness is the seed of transformation! Can you please comment on this?

When we are talking about transformation we are not talking about a shift from one level of thinking to another higher level of thinking. Awareness is its own movement and without it we are practicing external psychology. External psychology based on choice is a method towards greater effectiveness but is still limited and can be full of its own self-centered activity. Self and its methods towards happiness, from religion, politics, meditative practice, to yoga, are all created by the thinking process. Therefore they are limited and a vain pursuit in meeting one’s own needs in a way that creates relative sense of order that leading to being well adjusted. To be well adjusted to a society that is violent and deeply self-centered is not healthy mentally. Awareness is something that can’t be sought or practiced; it is not the result of a vain activity to quiet the mind or bringing the body under submission. It is when quality is found in the mundane and boring. To be aware is to recognize your own irrationality and its effect on the environment and the environment’s effect on you. In whatever environment you are in, seeing how you are related to the persons, things or ideas, is to come to terms with what is. In that actuality there is transformation of self consciousness into a process not touched by thought. Only then is one in true freedom.