priligy nz


Conflict and the need for change

At the heart of every human being there is the fundamental need for change. The only problem is this change within our consciousness must come about through the process of insight. Most human change that happens now is the same as it has been in our past; we seem to only change in the field of technology.  For example, thousands of years ago there was the wisdom of the Egyptians, the Greeks, the Romans, Copernicus, Newton and then up to this date Einstein, Feynman, Bohm, Bohr and, of course, Stephen Hawkins. It is quite evident that humankind is willing to shift theory and technological matters. From the fact that I began this article on a smart phone instead of a painting in the wall of the cave, one can see the linear progression within technology.

However, for as long as we’ve been on the planet, the most difficult thing for human beings to do is to get along with each other and stop all the wars, the hunger, the deception of our politicians, the self-interest of multinational corporations, our own personal greed and violence with each other.

When we speak of human beings needing to change that change that is needed is deep within us. We know the ails of being greedy, violent and self-centered, yet each generation repeats the same pattern of the generation before it in an enthusiastic fashion. We still cannot solve the riddle of how to get along with each other. One of the institutions that is supposed to bring about some sense of stability within human relationship is marriage. Marriage is now at a divorce rate of close to 60%.  In the past 50 years we have had genocides that parallel what Hitler did in World War II and response to these genocides has been minimal because they happened in places where US or less powerful nations had other interests or no interest. Our school systems are loaded with kids that are dropping out at phenomenal rates and education is becoming something only for the wealthy. In my work in schools in Canada and abroad, the relationships between the educators and students are full of conflict. Education has become a process where the education is about fitting in to the economic environment and not about developing the whole or total person.

In the area of mental health, the client patient relationship is now determined by pharmacology. This is probably the greatest dehumanizing process humankind has faced in his evolution. When you convince people, without any science at all, that they have brain disorders that are physical in nature and convince them that they need brain chemicals to fix their disorder, you create a travesty deeper than the Holocaust itself.  My wife and I, running a group home from 1995-2012, dealt with children referred from many children’s aid societies that came with long diagnoses and all kinds of brain drugs. Once we got the kids off the brain drugs and away from psychiatrists things seem to improve in their lives and we were able to teach them some internal psychology that allowed them to heal themselves and make better choices.

Another important area that proves humankind’s level of deterioration is parents’ inability to get along with their children through creating environments for them where they feel loved and have a sense of autonomy.  A large aspect of my family practice is counseling families with teenagers that are out of control.  In most cases, the psychology that the parents practice on the children and the psychology that the children practice back on the parents is the root of the difficulty.

Another important component of living your life is finding a place where you can work and earn a livelihood. In the workplace most managers or bosses practice external control psychology on their employees, which brings about great unhappiness within the relationship.

Relationship seems to be the cornerstone of humankind’s existence, but unfortunately we are having tremendous difficulty bringing about relationships that are free of all conflict and that nurture and create a level of effectiveness that works for both people.

We can’t seem to get our heads around the fact that society is human relationship in action. We have divided the world into the world of the ego self, and the outside world at large, and then add the spiritual world somewhere either out there or inside us.

This ego self is made up of personal content that one receives from the outside world, such as your culture, family, your name, or the environment you were raised in. It is this content that gives you a sense of who and what you are. It is all put together by the psychology of external control. For example, you have beliefs and values and your own contradictions within them, and therefore as human beings we are at war with ourselves. We seem to live a contradictory life- we want one thing at one time and then behave in another way that contradicts what we say we really want.

You can see this more evident in the outside world because everyone seems to want peace in the outside world, but everyone behaves in a way that sets up conflict. Through the clash of ideas, the class of culture, the clash of beliefs, the clash of values, the clashes of identification, all of this constitutes one bloody big mess.

Then, the next thing we do is to become romantic and philosophical and bring into existence some supreme being outside the real world- a world of the spirit, a world of God, or some supreme human being that is going to fix all the planet and fix all the problems of humankind.

Every human being has a center. If I were to ask you who you were, you would tell me, “I am Canadian” or, “American” or, “Russian,” and that is based on outside knowledge that you have a simulated. If I asked you to tell me about yourself, you will identify yourself with the knowledge you have gathered from the outside. That knowledge contains your political views, your religious views, and all the content of the things that you value that you have gathered from the outside world. The self that is you is in fact in your life suffering from the basic human problems that we all have like fear, loneliness, jealousy, hatred, prejudice, violence, and conflict. And so far, you have not been able to solve any of your personal problems in relationship. They always come back and will come back to haunt you. You have not changed fundamentally and therefore, humankind has tried to invent a system outside of itself called communism. Not being able to find a new psychology, we have shifted our attention to solve the problems in the outside world and we haven’t been able to solve one problem in the outside world regarding human relationships. The ego self, being in the state of disorder and realizing it cannot change itself and its own psychological problems, tries to fix the world outside. We have failed miserably at trying to fix the problems in the outside world. The fact is that we can’t co-operate with each other to fix the problems in the outside world, so we invent a spiritual entity and look at that for change. Man’s greatest deceit is his fixed position of self-inflicted misery within himself, the outside world, and the hope in God.  Hope is sowing seeds of change so that we don’t have to take responsibility for our lack of relationship with each other, the earth and ourselves.

So the questions become how do we really change ourselves and where is the crisis that needs to be changed? That crisis is within our own consciousness. That consciousness is the content of who we are, and what we think we are is put together by the thinking process itself. Thought forms an entity called self, in this self is the all-important fragment of our consciousness that is superior to all other fragments within our consciousness. It is because our consciousness is fragmented that we have developed a world that is fragmented. Humankind really believes that with the right type of knowledge mankind will be able to live peacefully. But that is one of our greatest delusions. Knowledge is not the saviour of our fate; it is the cause of our misery. We have more knowledge now then we never had, and all that knowledge does is maintain our division and disconnection.  We are divided inside ourselves because we have identified who we are with the syncing process and the true existence of our being is not a thinking process, it’s a feeling process-an awareness process. Knowledge prevents awareness and handicaps us to observe and face the challenge that is relationship. Because we are divided within ourselves and in conflict within ourselves, we manifest our external world based on the same conflict. The world inside me becomes the world outside of me and the movement between the two is the misery of my condition. All human beings are caught in the never-ending cycle of trying to change. Yet all my life experience in relationships comes to the same point where I feel and live into the lack of relationship. It is the feeling that my life goes on smooth sailing then some how I am back disconnected to the people and relationships in my life that I want and need.  Then, being frustrated with my inner life, I tried to change the world outside of me. Then, when it becomes completely pointless because the outside is too massive to change, I invent a relationship with a self-invented God. Whatever image I have of the divine, it is created by the think process, which is the self.  The ego self, as in each generation before, has invented some utopia to end the inner conflict, but it only increases it. Each individual self refuses to see that his consciousness is put together by the content of thinking. That content of thinking is the cause of all my conflict in any relationship. The same process occurs in the world outside of us- the content of my thinking is in conflict with the content of someone else’s thinking and this process leads to division and violence. The fact is, I have to ask myself a fundamental question: if my content of consciousness is to change how will it change and what will bring about that change? Humankind has been trying to change human consciousness forever through the effort called will. These are the ways of the self. Something that creates conflict and self does so because it’s put together by thought. Thought can’t be the thing that ends conflict. Where there is effort there is will and that will is the result of resistance within consciousness. The ego self is always trying to be about a change within itself, but it cannot. To see this is to give up trying to change and become a witness to what is going on inside of oneself and face the music of the disorder of thinking. Only then can there be a new movement unrecognizable by thought and self.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *